How to Find a Silver Lining in a Fog Bank (Part 2)

The original title was going to be ‘Why Drive When Walking is Faster’.

As Mika left for Okinawa to see her family, I headed home on what I thought was a highway. In reality, it was a parking lot that moved at the speed of a fart. As soon as I exited off of 495 HWY onto South bound 95 HWY at mile marker 170, I was forced into being held captive by a road system that not even those in the carpool lanes could escape from.  

As anyone who has had the dishonor of having their tax money misused would look upon this road system and its upkeep would agree that they would want those responsible for this travesty to have every orifice of their body repeatedly filled with their own bile and excrement with both force and longevity. In the course of two hours I was able to travel a grand total of less than 40 miles. And by the time I reached the exit for 295 HWY, which goes around Richmond, Virginia, it was still bumper to bumper traffic.

Only on the 295 HWY was anybody really able to make any headway. That is except for the multiple times that the slow drivers decided to travel in the far left lanes. Slow drivers in this lane was an old red pickup truck with a tarp full of trash in the back of it, at least three caravans and an assortment of other cars whose drivers thought driving 10 miles slower than the posted speed limit would make them feel like a safe driver.

As soon as the 295 HWY merged back onto the 95 HWY system, the parking lot was there waiting for many of us. Speed up for several yards then come to a complete stop. Didn’t matter which lane you were in, nobody was driving even close to the posted speed limit. I almost feel sorry for one car in the fast lane that was driving so slow that people driving around them was flipping them the finger and yelling out of the car window at these people. I say almost because I was behind them going about 50 MPH in a 70 MPH speed zone.

I had until 5:30 PM to have the rental car returned to the place in Knightdale, NC or I was going to be charged for another day’s rental. By the time I made it to the 64 HWY exits it was 5:02 PM. I had 47 miles to drive in less than 30 minutes. Due to my upbringing in a society where speed limit signs are meant as a form of suggestion, I hit the petal and drove as if I was in a NASCAR race. Speeds reaching 80 MPH and more in a 70 MPH zone as I weave in and out of a now more relaxed road system.

I finally reached the car rental place at 5:22 PM. Those at the rental agency knew that I was going to the DC airport and were very much surprised that I actually made it back in time. No extra fees to pay and I was then able to release a lot of built up stress from what I felt was a six hour road trip from hell. I couldn’t enjoy the driving nor could I even enjoy the radio due to travelling on an antiquated road system.

As I called to see when my ride was going to pick me up, I noticed that I had a text message from my wife. In my entire road trip of hell I never noticed that she had texted me. A simple message to be careful as I drove home. She must have sent the text just before her plane took off. And as I’m standing outside a car rental place, looking at this text, I totally forgot the headache and pains of driving back home. I could only think about her.

Getting home and getting the boys to bed as I quickly feel asleep myself, I was awakened around 3:30 AM. It was Mika at Japanese airport bus stop. She made it safely there but she was more concerned about me and wanted to know if I was OK. We talked for only a few minutes as she waited for her bus to arrive. But as I was still very tired from little sleep and high stress, I couldn’t go back to sleep for a good while.  Just hearing her voice gave me the energy to stay awake. Even though I was still dead tired and really wanted to go back to sleep, I couldn’t. So I watched TV until I fell back asleep. But I went back to sleep thinking only of her and not the headaches and pains of that day. My silver lining was always with me the whole time, no matter how far away we were from each other.

How to Find a Silver Lining in a Fog Bank (Part 1)

My original title was going to be called 'Why ANA Really Sucks' but I changed it at the last moment.

I was severely tested on two items of my personal top 10 list of things that I love to do; my wife and long distance driving. Seeing as my wife Mika, who’s Okinawan, was going to pay final respects to her mother who recently passed away. Plans were set out to find the most direct flight as possible. That led us to the Dulles International Airport in the Washington DC area. With all the necessary arrangements and a rental car, we were all set for the trip.

With my sister babysitting our two boys, we left home around midnight. Stopping only for a quick meal and fuel up, we headed out on the highway by 12:30 on a long 5 hour drive to the airport. And as tradition held fast in our family, my wife was fast asleep within 15 minutes. And so begins one of my big loves of life with that being long distance driving. An extra-large bucket of soda, a couple of plain cheese burgers, chips, a giant snickers bar and the radio set on Classic Rock with an open road in front of me. Better than sex. Almost.

With hardly any cars on the road in the middle of the night and my lack of driving the speed limit, I was making great time. So much so that by 4:15 we’re pulling into the airport parking lot. Thirty minutes later, my wife was ready to get out of the car. And if you are married or have a girlfriend then you know a woman will not get out of a car until she looks and smells great. Walking pass the small snow mounds in the freezing air we entered the airport and proceeded to locate the nearest bathroom.

We then sat down to wait till 8:20 for the ANA ticket counter to open up. In that time we finally had time to really talk about a lot of things. Our life together, our concerns about the kids, our future and the promise to make sure the kids eat right while she’s gone. We talked for a long time about the clothing people were wearing at the airport, the weather conditions as the whole time we were constantly holding hands.

By 8:20 the ANA counter opened up and she was all set to fly. We then asked for a pass so I could be with her as she boarded the plan. The lady at the counter was a little bit reluctant but asked her supervisor for her opinion. They both along with my wife had a long Japanese conversation as these two women were smiling like they just won the lottery. The whole time I’m thinking that I’ll get the pass to be with my wife.  But Mika turns to me and said they won’t give me a pass due to new rules. Both women were still smiling to the point that I could see their back molars.

Mika didn’t want to push the issue but I we went to an information booth to try and get a pass for me. We found the booth and told our story. He was surprised that ANA turned our request down stating that no new rules were in place to prevent them from doing so. He gave us a few ideas as to try and get a pass from ANA but my wife was really worried about making trouble so I eventually relented and we walked around the airport for a while. Eventually sitting down and talked some more.

In time we had to part ways. We said our good-bye’s and she disappeared down the escalator as I was prepared to go and sit down and wait for her plane to leave. One of the airport staff watching us stopped me and directed me to an area of the airport where I could see her plane. Until her plane left, I stood by this huge glass window area. Watching an ANA plan unload and reload. After a while Mika called me as she had finally made it to her gate. She couldn't really see where I was standing at due to the passenger walkway to the plane and a Starbucks blocking her view. But we talked. We talked again as passengers were boarding the plane.  I told her that she had plenty of time as the luggage was just beginning to be loaded onto the plane.

Eventually her plane was pulling out and heading for the runway as I turned and headed for the car on a long and lonely ride home. We were pulled apart before we were ready. But we were still together. Yes by phone but as she was boarding the plane we were speaking the same words to each other. As I left the viewing area, the same staff member asked if I was OK. We chatted for a few minutes. He knew what was going on for he sees it every day with couples having to say good-by too soon due to laws and anarchists.

That day I faced what to me and us was a huge test. Little did I know there were even more forces waiting to test me as I left the airport. But that’s in part 2.

Surviving Christmas Eve

Well I survived the Christmas shopping days. There is nothing better than watching people shopping like it’s the end of the world. Grocery stores and department stores closed for one day has turned normal people into crazed lunatics. Shopping carts of food loaded down with enough supplies to last for weeks. And their driving habits are to die for.

As I’m working department stores and grocery stores I take 30 minutes out of my busy day to grab something to eat while sitting in the company truck while listening to Christmas music.  During that time two cars at different times, both driven by women, nearly collided with me.  As they backed away from my park truck, not once did they remove the cell phone from their ear. Not once did they even mouth the words “I’m sorry”. But they clearly understood the words I was mouthing to them.  

But the fun continued on through the day as I was working my last store at closing time. A store that for the past month and ½  has posted on the door the closing time on Christmas Eve, 6 PM. As I am walking out the door at about 5:50 PM there was a caravan type atmosphere of cars entering the parking area. Dodging an army of lost shopping carts left by the previous hoarders, they circled the parking lot as sharks onto a lost surfer.  

Before I could even make it to the truck a car broke off from the pack and followed me like the character Jason from the Halloween movies. As any vendor will tell you, after a long day when you’re getting in your vehicle to go home, you just want to relax a bit. To unwind and reduce as much work stress as possible before going home to one’s family but not that night.

This person made it clear that he wanted my parking spot and was very helpful in letting me know that it was safe to leave. Using the highlight beams from his car, the turn signal and the fact that as cars were coming and going in other parking areas, he didn’t move a bit. He eventually gave up though as a patrol car clearly motioned for him to move. As he left , I started up the company truck and pulled out as another person quickly took the vacant spot.

But by then it was too late. The store was finally closed. A long line of customers checking out with a long line of people standing and staring at a locked door in a weird and demonic way felt good. Heading home I had dinner, checked my emails, set up the satellite box to copy some shows and then I took a nap. Afterwards as the kids finally went to sleep, we did what all parents do and got the livingroom ready for the next morning.

By morning the stress of the holiday shoppers was far from my mind as Christmas day was filled with more important feelings than the image of a man begging to get into a closed grocery store to buy a turkey for Christmas dinner. 

Fullmetal New Year

My wife loves Fullmetal Alchemist.

Being Honest Can Cost You

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.

I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.

He said they love animals very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, mutton and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.

I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.

I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now...

Merry Christmas To All Who Don't

RE: Gala Christmas Party

FROM:    Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:         All Employees

DATE:    October 1, 2012

I am happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!  We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along.  And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM.  Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.  This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty

 

FROM:    Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:         All Employees

DATE:    October 2, 2012

RE:       Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.  We recognize that  Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.  However, from now on,  we're calling it our "Holiday Party."  The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.  There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung.  We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Patty

 

Company Memo

FROM:   Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:        All Employees

DATE:   October 3, 2012

RE:        Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name.  I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore.  How am I supposed to handle this?

Somebody?

And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

 

Company Memo

FROM:  Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

To:        All Employees

DATE:   October 4, 2012

RE:        Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are!  I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.  There goes the party!  Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs.  Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home.    

Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other.  Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.

Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms.  

Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food .  

The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.

There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. 

Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty

 

Company Memo

FROM:   Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:         All  F...... Employees

DATE:    October  5, 2012

RE:         The F****** Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!!  We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f***** salad bar, including organic tomatoes.  But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too.  They scream when you slice them.  I've heard them scream.  I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

The rest of you f***** weirdo’s can kiss my ass.  I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The Bitch from Hell!!!

 

Company Memo

FROM:  Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

DATE:   October  6, 2012

RE:        Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Joan

Pacific Rim (movie)

Link

When legions of monstrous creatures, known as Kaiju, start rising from the sea, a war begins that takes millions of lives and consumes humanity's resources for years on end. To combat the giant Kaiju, a special type of weapon is devised: massive robots, called Jaegers, which are controlled simultaneously by two pilots whose minds are locked in a neural bridge. But even the Jaegers prove nearly defenseless in the face of the relentless Kaiju.

On the verge of defeat, the forces defending mankind have no choice but to turn to two unlikely heroes - a washed up former pilot (Charlie Hunnam) and an untested trainee (Rinko Kikuchi) - who are teamed to drive a legendary but seemingly obsolete Jaeger from the past. Together, they stand as mankind’s last hope against the mounting apocalypse.

Pacific Rim premieres July 12th, 2013.

Orange Caramel - Dashing Through the Snow on High Heels

* Kiss me, Kiss me

Before this winter passes

Love me, love me, as much as I love you

Hey you, can you hear me? What I’m saying?

I don’t want anything else

** When I see you, the bells ring in my heart

I think you will tell me today as well

Like in my dream last night

It’s cold but I wear pretty clothes

It’s snowing but I wear high heels

I want to walk all night with you tonight

Dashing through the snow

I search for you

This feeling of running to you

The cold wind feels so refreshing

You (you) are a bigger present than anything in this world

흰눈 사이로

Today, it feels like everything will go well

I muster up courage and the white snow falls as if to show

* Repeat

** Repeat

Today, it feels like my wishes will come true

I will get a little more excited

Just like this

* Repeat

** Repeat

This merry night (the moment I’ve been waiting for)

When it becomes silent (for all this time)

The things I’ve hidden, I want to tell you it all

Kiss me, Kiss me

A present that’s better than you?

I don’t know what that is

Will the day I’ve been waiting for be today?

Like in my dream last night?

Kiss me on my lips (ha)

Turn on all the lights today (right now)

Before the snow stops falling

You are clearly before my eyes

Here are the confessions, Listen up ma

You can be my boo and I can be your star (HA!)

God please answer my prayers, grant my wish

Girl I’ll always be your Mister,

Will you be my Miss?

Best Christmas Photo EVER

Link 

The Face of Meth

Link to more images
Well I did my usually speech to my kids about the dangers of doing drugs. The best part is that with the internet I can show them what illegal drugs can do to the human body. Mind you that these boys have seen , countless hours of watching the Dragonball Z series, Kamen Rider, Sentai Series (that’s Power Rangers), Ultraman and Fullmetal Alchemist including an array of other action movies ranging from the entire Lord of The Rings trilogy to Godzilla and the Transformers movie series. Just to name a few.

And as my two sons, ages 11 and 12, are watching the images of people being transformed by the use of meth really put the fear into them so much so that one of them ran out of the room in fear of one particular image he saw. Proving once again I did a great job of driving the point home of how drugs can change a person’s life. Now if I can just get them to clean their room.

PSY-cho exposed

Link here for full story
second link
The past is catching up to the Korean entertainer who in 2002 made an anti war demonstration song. As its everyone's right to express their feelings on matters that are important to them, what is said though can come back to harm you years later.

Here is an excerpt of his song.

Y'S ANTI-AMERICAN RAP

'Kill those f*****g Yankees who have been torturing Iraqi captives
Kill those f*****g Yankees who ordered them to torture
Kill their daughters, mothers, daughters-in-law and fathers
Kill them all slowly and painfully'

Fly The Crowded Skies

Time-lapse video shows dozens of 

planes landing at airport in 25 seconds

Story link here

Landings at San Diego Int Airport Nov 23, 2012 from Cy Kuckenbaker on Vimeo.

10 Long Inches of Pleasure

A pound of milk chocolate, peanuts, caramel and nougats. The perfect food to eat while watching all those Christmas specials on TV. Also my wife doesn't like to do a lot of cooking when its cold. Hence my expertise of frozen pizza's, the microwave oven and ready to eat package foods. 

How Goya Your Christmas

Goya is Okinawa’s very popular, but very bitter vegetable and a significant ingredient in the Okinawan cuisine. It’s popularly is credited with Okinawan life expectancies being higher than the already long Japanese ones.

Goya has always traveled with claims of ‘healthy’ and ‘promotes longevity’, but now many advocates are saying the cucumber-like melon is good for nearly whatever ails you. It is being used in processed foods, mixed in salads and champura dishes, and is now finding a niche in new food products.

The goya is stated as having three times more vitamin C than lemon fruits, and five times as much as the tomato, and it protects against heat. Advocates claim it even battles fat, providing nutrition while keeping fat from forming. Medical researchers are also discovering the goya reduces blood sugar levels, a boon for diabetics and works in lowering high blood pressure.

Goya’s are expanding to new products such as goya chips, which are not quite so bitter and have a good taste. It's used in the process of making beer as a substitution of the hops. It is even mixed with chocolate as these taste goya sweets are available in many Okinawan supermarkets.

Words of Wisdom

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.6 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last; thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

25. If you stand on a toilet are you high on pot.

26. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!

27. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is that considered a hostage crisis?

28. If a man runs behind a car will get exhausted...if he runs in front of car he will get tired.

29. If FedEx and Ups merged, would they call it Fed UP?

30. Ham and eggs: a day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

31. There once was a dog named Tax. I opened the door and income Tax.

32. There are three ways a man wears his hair: parted, unparted or departed.

33. Age doesn't always bring wisdom. “Sometimes age comes alone”

34. Never say, "Give me a break" to a Black Belt in Karate.

35. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.