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Thursday, September 30, 2010

Wife's October Banner


Trip to the Bathroom

We are in the process of ordering a quilt with pictures of our kids on it to give to her mother who lives in Okinawa. Searching through many photo albums and boxes of pictures we eventually found the right pictures to use. We also found a few that brought back many memories when we use to live there.

Our toilet and bathtub.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Words of Wisdom

If you ever want to know how a person drives a car, just watch them while they are operating a shopping cart.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Monday, September 13, 2010

Priceless

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!" .

a self-induced hangover - $100.00

broken furniture - $200.00

breakfast - $10.00


saying the right thing - PRICELESS


Monday, September 6, 2010

Korean Adventure

So there I was minding my own business when I encountered a sight like no other. I was in a grocery store around Apex, NC on a Friday before Labor Day. As many people were preparing to leave for the beach or mountain theme park s the day was going by rather peacefully. As I was finishing up for the day I noticed this Korean lady doing some grocery shopping. I knew she was Korean because of her cell phone conversation plus the fact, contrary to stereo types; Koreans have a certain aura about them that is different from other Asian people. It’s hard to explain so let’s move on with the story shall we?

As she ended her phone conversation she continued her shopping while dressed in a most beautiful dress outfit. It looked similar to a spring time dress with lots of flower designs imprinted on it and a long slit going up the side of the dress. She looked somewhere in her late 30’s, early 40’s with a slender built, average chest size with long clean shaven legs and other body parts going with her 5.5 foot height built. With her long hair going well pass the waist line and wearing two inch high heel shoes. I was only able to get a quick glance at her before she had to leave the store to change her clothes.

It seems that while she was doing her shopping she didn’t take into account the dress of hers kind of lifted itself up a bit more than she knew whenever she squatted down to look at an item. It was evident later on that she was going commando or to be more precise, no underwear. But being the gentleman that I am I continued to carry on with my job until I became involved in helping her in a small crisis she was having by now.

She had bent down to pick up a rather large item and while trying to mange it and safely place it into her shopping cart, her dress became entrapped with the item. So as she was able to get the item in her shopping cart, so did she also get part of her dress in it as well. She quietly called out to me for assistance as I quickly came to her aid especially since she was standing naked from the waist down while her torn dress was lying under a very heavy grocery item. Lifting the item she retrieved she dress and tried to see how badly her dress was ripped.

As she asked for my advice, it became apparent that her dress was seriously ripped. I also noticed her private area very clearly from front and back as we tried to adjust her dress so she could leave the store with some dignity. Before she left she did apologize for creating a scene given that if someone had come around to the grocery isle we were on, it would look like I was sexually attacking her or that she was nudist exhibitionists. But as luck would have it for the both of us, the store was particularly slow seeing as many people had already or were getting ready to leave for the holiday weekend.

She left the store with no one noticing her ripped dress being held by one hand while the other hand keep it from opening up from the side and giving everyone a view to remember. About 30 minutes later I was heading home for the day. And about an hour and ½ later after making it through holiday traffic I made it home. I was so tired of working many deliveries and stocking up many stores that I had a quick dinner and went to bed that night. I drifted off to sleep remembering my Korean sightseeing adventure.

Wife's Labor Day Banner

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Fullmetal Alchemist - TOO SEXY

I made a slideshow using pictures my wife drew of her favorite manga and anime show. Click on the TV logo to set the aspect ratio to the original ratio. That way the slideshow will look more normal. Enjoy.

Trek Quiz

Your results:
You are Worf
Worf
70%
Beverly Crusher
65%
Leonard McCoy (Bones)
65%
Will Riker
60%
Mr. Sulu
55%
Uhura
50%
Spock
47%
Chekov
45%
Deanna Troi
45%
Mr. Scott
45%
Geordi LaForge
40%
Jean-Luc Picard
40%
An Expendable Character (Redshirt)
30%
James T. Kirk (Captain)
30%
Data
28%
You are trained in the art of combat
and are usually intimidating.