The Wedding Ring

An Eight Cow Wife

An Eight Cow Wife

By Janel Breitenstein

An old story told from the island of Kiniwata relates the account of a man known as Johnny Lingo. The youngest and strongest man from the island, Johnny shocked the islanders by paying the father of his bride not the traditional two to three cows for his wife, or even the four to five cows for an exceptional wife. For Sarita, he paid eight.

No one could understand: "It would be kindness to call her plain. She was skinny. She walked with her shoulders hunched and her head ducked. She was scared of her own shadow." Eight cows!? The entire island laughed at the audacity.

Curious about the story, writer Patricia McGerr visited Johnny's home. She was fascinated by what she describes as the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen. She wrote about this in a Woman's Day article, "Johnny Lingo and the Eight Cow Wife": "The lift of her shoulders, the tilt of her chin, the sparkle of her eyes all spelled a pride to which no one could deny her the right."

When McGerr later pressed Johnny Lingo for his reasoning, he explains, "Many things can change a woman. Things that happen inside, things that happen outside. But the thing that matters most is what she thinks about herself. In Kiniwata, Sarita believed she was worth nothing. Now she knows she is worth more than any other woman in the islands ... I wanted an eight-cow wife."

Now, for obvious reasons, please do not immediately tell your beloved, "Hon, you're an eight-cow wife." But remember that, at least in part, a man's impact may be measured in the joy and character of the people closest to him.

The way that a man sees his wife, the way he cherishes her, has a lasting effect on her beauty within and without.

How does your wife feel about you and your relationship to her? How do you want your children to remember your acts of love for their mother?

How to Find a Silver Lining in a Fog Bank (Part 2)

The original title was going to be ‘Why Drive When Walking is Faster’.

As Mika left for Okinawa to see her family, I headed home on what I thought was a highway. In reality, it was a parking lot that moved at the speed of a fart. As soon as I exited off of 495 HWY onto South bound 95 HWY at mile marker 170, I was forced into being held captive by a road system that not even those in the carpool lanes could escape from.  

As anyone who has had the dishonor of having their tax money misused would look upon this road system and its upkeep would agree that they would want those responsible for this travesty to have every orifice of their body repeatedly filled with their own bile and excrement with both force and longevity. In the course of two hours I was able to travel a grand total of less than 40 miles. And by the time I reached the exit for 295 HWY, which goes around Richmond, Virginia, it was still bumper to bumper traffic.

Only on the 295 HWY was anybody really able to make any headway. That is except for the multiple times that the slow drivers decided to travel in the far left lanes. Slow drivers in this lane was an old red pickup truck with a tarp full of trash in the back of it, at least three caravans and an assortment of other cars whose drivers thought driving 10 miles slower than the posted speed limit would make them feel like a safe driver.

As soon as the 295 HWY merged back onto the 95 HWY system, the parking lot was there waiting for many of us. Speed up for several yards then come to a complete stop. Didn’t matter which lane you were in, nobody was driving even close to the posted speed limit. I almost feel sorry for one car in the fast lane that was driving so slow that people driving around them was flipping them the finger and yelling out of the car window at these people. I say almost because I was behind them going about 50 MPH in a 70 MPH speed zone.

I had until 5:30 PM to have the rental car returned to the place in Knightdale, NC or I was going to be charged for another day’s rental. By the time I made it to the 64 HWY exits it was 5:02 PM. I had 47 miles to drive in less than 30 minutes. Due to my upbringing in a society where speed limit signs are meant as a form of suggestion, I hit the petal and drove as if I was in a NASCAR race. Speeds reaching 80 MPH and more in a 70 MPH zone as I weave in and out of a now more relaxed road system.

I finally reached the car rental place at 5:22 PM. Those at the rental agency knew that I was going to the DC airport and were very much surprised that I actually made it back in time. No extra fees to pay and I was then able to release a lot of built up stress from what I felt was a six hour road trip from hell. I couldn’t enjoy the driving nor could I even enjoy the radio due to travelling on an antiquated road system.

As I called to see when my ride was going to pick me up, I noticed that I had a text message from my wife. In my entire road trip of hell I never noticed that she had texted me. A simple message to be careful as I drove home. She must have sent the text just before her plane took off. And as I’m standing outside a car rental place, looking at this text, I totally forgot the headache and pains of driving back home. I could only think about her.

Getting home and getting the boys to bed as I quickly feel asleep myself, I was awakened around 3:30 AM. It was Mika at Japanese airport bus stop. She made it safely there but she was more concerned about me and wanted to know if I was OK. We talked for only a few minutes as she waited for her bus to arrive. But as I was still very tired from little sleep and high stress, I couldn’t go back to sleep for a good while.  Just hearing her voice gave me the energy to stay awake. Even though I was still dead tired and really wanted to go back to sleep, I couldn’t. So I watched TV until I fell back asleep. But I went back to sleep thinking only of her and not the headaches and pains of that day. My silver lining was always with me the whole time, no matter how far away we were from each other.

How to Find a Silver Lining in a Fog Bank (Part 1)

My original title was going to be called 'Why ANA Really Sucks' but I changed it at the last moment.

I was severely tested on two items of my personal top 10 list of things that I love to do; my wife and long distance driving. Seeing as my wife Mika, who’s Okinawan, was going to pay final respects to her mother who recently passed away. Plans were set out to find the most direct flight as possible. That led us to the Dulles International Airport in the Washington DC area. With all the necessary arrangements and a rental car, we were all set for the trip.

With my sister babysitting our two boys, we left home around midnight. Stopping only for a quick meal and fuel up, we headed out on the highway by 12:30 on a long 5 hour drive to the airport. And as tradition held fast in our family, my wife was fast asleep within 15 minutes. And so begins one of my big loves of life with that being long distance driving. An extra-large bucket of soda, a couple of plain cheese burgers, chips, a giant snickers bar and the radio set on Classic Rock with an open road in front of me. Better than sex. Almost.

With hardly any cars on the road in the middle of the night and my lack of driving the speed limit, I was making great time. So much so that by 4:15 we’re pulling into the airport parking lot. Thirty minutes later, my wife was ready to get out of the car. And if you are married or have a girlfriend then you know a woman will not get out of a car until she looks and smells great. Walking pass the small snow mounds in the freezing air we entered the airport and proceeded to locate the nearest bathroom.

We then sat down to wait till 8:20 for the ANA ticket counter to open up. In that time we finally had time to really talk about a lot of things. Our life together, our concerns about the kids, our future and the promise to make sure the kids eat right while she’s gone. We talked for a long time about the clothing people were wearing at the airport, the weather conditions as the whole time we were constantly holding hands.

By 8:20 the ANA counter opened up and she was all set to fly. We then asked for a pass so I could be with her as she boarded the plan. The lady at the counter was a little bit reluctant but asked her supervisor for her opinion. They both along with my wife had a long Japanese conversation as these two women were smiling like they just won the lottery. The whole time I’m thinking that I’ll get the pass to be with my wife.  But Mika turns to me and said they won’t give me a pass due to new rules. Both women were still smiling to the point that I could see their back molars.

Mika didn’t want to push the issue but I we went to an information booth to try and get a pass for me. We found the booth and told our story. He was surprised that ANA turned our request down stating that no new rules were in place to prevent them from doing so. He gave us a few ideas as to try and get a pass from ANA but my wife was really worried about making trouble so I eventually relented and we walked around the airport for a while. Eventually sitting down and talked some more.

In time we had to part ways. We said our good-bye’s and she disappeared down the escalator as I was prepared to go and sit down and wait for her plane to leave. One of the airport staff watching us stopped me and directed me to an area of the airport where I could see her plane. Until her plane left, I stood by this huge glass window area. Watching an ANA plan unload and reload. After a while Mika called me as she had finally made it to her gate. She couldn't really see where I was standing at due to the passenger walkway to the plane and a Starbucks blocking her view. But we talked. We talked again as passengers were boarding the plane.  I told her that she had plenty of time as the luggage was just beginning to be loaded onto the plane.

Eventually her plane was pulling out and heading for the runway as I turned and headed for the car on a long and lonely ride home. We were pulled apart before we were ready. But we were still together. Yes by phone but as she was boarding the plane we were speaking the same words to each other. As I left the viewing area, the same staff member asked if I was OK. We chatted for a few minutes. He knew what was going on for he sees it every day with couples having to say good-by too soon due to laws and anarchists.

That day I faced what to me and us was a huge test. Little did I know there were even more forces waiting to test me as I left the airport. But that’s in part 2.

North Carolina Marriage Amendment

North Carolina voters elected to change the state constitution on Tuesday, prohibiting any union outside of a marriage between a man and a woman from being recognized in the state. here are the results.