Blood Is Spilt Over School's Chapstick Ban

link When 11-year-old Grace Karaffa was told she couldn't use ChapStick at her Virginia elementary school, the girl -- who'd been prohibited from using it for years to treat her dry, bleeding lips -- decided she'd had enough.

The fifth-grader at Stuarts Draft Elementary School created a petition and presented her case before the August County school board last week, arguing that a ban on the mo

st commonly used remedy to treat chapped lips was "inappropriate," her father told FoxNews.com.

"Grace was told in the second grade she couldn't use ChapStick, but we didn't look into why," David Karaffa said. "When Grace asked if she could use ChapStick while out in the cold last year, she was told again, 'No, you're not allowed.'"

Her lips then started to bleed in class, according to her father, but the girl was still refused ChapStick by a teacher who said it was against school policy. Grace was forced to go into the bathroom and wet her lips to relieve the cracking and bleeding, Karaffa said.

"They told her at the time that some kids might be allergic to ChapStick," he said.

When Grace started the fifth-grade last month, she decided she'd approach the matter in a way most 11-year-olds would not -- delivering a carefully outlined speech before the school board in support of overturning the ban.

"She said, 'Dad, I want to get rid of this ChapStick ban thing.' I said, 'Okay, you have to speak to your teacher and the principal, who both advised she write a letter to the Augusta County school board," he said.

Following her speech, Grace was cross-examined, her father said -- with one board member asking the girl if using ChapStick at school might be seen as a distraction.

"She said, 'I think it would be more distracting to have bleeding lips while I'm doing my work,'" her father said. "That ended that line of questioning."

Grace also started a petition drive on notebook paper, which was signed by fellow classmates, including her Girl Scout troop. It has more than 300 signatures to date. 

Assistant Superintendent George Earhart did not immediately return a phone call seeking comment.

In a statement to The News Leader newspaper, Earhart claims the ban has been in place since a disease outbreak persuaded county school officials to seek counsel from the local health department and doctors.

"Our policy is not to be so restrictive. It is really a protection for the students," he told the newspaper, suggesting that a misplaced tube of lip balm could be picked up by a pre-kindergarten student and shared with other classmates.

Earhart  has said ChapStick is considered an over-the-counter drug, but Karaffa, a registered nurse, refutes that.

"I don't believe there is anything inside a generic ChapStick that would be classified as a drug," he said. "We would like the exception to be made so that kids in school can carry ChapStick."

Grace's proposal is under review as she waits to hear from school board officials, Karaffa said.

In the meantime, she plans to send each member a letter, thanking them for their consideration, and including in it a tube of ChapStick.

I Survived a 5th Grade Field Trip

My youngest son recently had his 5^th grade field trip to the Aquarium located at Pine Knoll Shores on Emerald Isle, NC. At the request of his teacher, I was asked to accompany him, as were many other parents asked to come with their children. It was a wonderful experience that I will always remember no matter how hard I try.

All the kids could bring their Nintendo DS’s or any other electronic gadget. So that night he charged up his while I loaded the tablet with as much of his favorite TV shows and videos on it. I packed both of our backpacks with the most essential items that we were going to need; a tablet, comic books, lots of soda, chips and junk food. Coming home that night I wish I’d included aspirin.

We got to school just as the two charter busses arrive.  After the usual mayhem of organized chaos, we all were loaded up and ready for a three hour tour ride to the aquarium. A few parents chose to drive their personnel car. Due to the high cost of fuel these days, I considered them the lucky ones after 30 minutes of seating on a charter bus seat. Not much leg room with little cushion to relax.

But the kids didn’t mind for once we left school, one of the teachers started a movie for everyone to watch. My son loved it because we were sitting right in front of the TV set. I immediately started reading a book, Zits Zombie Parents, the perfect book on how to handle teenagers. Three hours of seat shuffling later we arrived at the aquarium as the organized chaos disembarked and for the next few hours we all enjoyed ourselves.

We saw a presentation on jelly fish and took lots of pictures being in front of sharks, turtles and all other kinds of fish imaginable. The only thing that really got him excited was the machine that flattens out a penny into different shapes for 50 cents. For me it was the Dairy Queen shop by the gift shop. It was lunch time and I was starving.

But after all the fun times there we drove to a picnic area near Fort Macon where we all pigged out on prepared school lunches and home cook foods. My son and I ate junk food and soda from a 2 liter drink. Afterwards we were all herded to the beach for a class picture which became the best part of the trip as there were a lot of women on the beach getting a tan.  They quickly became surrounded by 5^th graders, their parents and teachers. A few women were unable to quickly move away due to the fact they had the top bikini strap undone.

So as all the kids were lined up with the ocean behind them, everyone else was taking their pictures as every dad was trying to get a look at all those women sun bathing or playing in the water. A few female teachers were making joking comments about all of us guys trying to sneak a peek but something else did come to the attention to everyone else. As we heading back to the bus we notice that these 5^th grade boys were also looking at the women on the beach. It was easy to spot them for they were moving their heads and not their eyes.

And so everyone is loaded back on both buses as we drove to Fort Macon. A few blocks away as an invasion force of 5^th graders transformed this quiet place into a warzone of noise and activity. My son started a trend. He ran up to the cannon in the lobby, stuck he whole arm in it and asked for volunteers to blow it up. Within a minute every kid in the place wanted their arm blown up.

But we walked around the place as kids stuck body parts in all the cannons, ran from room to room and simply enjoyed the view of the ocean from atop the place. After a visit to the gift shop to buy some confederate money we all headed back to the bus for our three hour adventure back home. Unable to get comfortable the entire time, I felt like a sardine in a can. But there were a few good moments on the way home.

As we were coming up to Havelock, a few of us noticed a lot of jet fighters in the air. We figured an air show must be going on at the Cherry Point Marine Base for there was a lot acrobatic flying going on. We even notice a lot of people just sitting out in their yards or shopping areas watching these planes fly around.

But as we drove on past the town I struggled the entire way as I was not getting a migraine headache.

Once back at the school I had our backpacks in hand as the doors opened up as my son and I bolted for the car and were half way home before anyone else left the school. Once home my son was non-stop talk as I handed all the souvenir stuff and camera to my wife as I drank a ½ bottle of Nyquil and went straight to bed. I didn’t even eat anything for dinner.

If someone asked me to do that all over again I would still say yes. The reason is very simple. Just as I was falling asleep, my son came into the bedroom and told me how much fun he had being with me. He even promises to let me sit by the window next time so I could rest more easily. I fell asleep as he was still talking to me. But the last thing I clearly remember is him telling me that I’m a great dad.

The Path I Chose

A lot can happen in a day. Even in the span of minute’s one can see if they made a correct path choice from their early youth.

While I was working in one store, at separate times, I met two people I went to high school with. One person I met by his smell and appearance looked like he just got out of bed. It was well in the afternoon but dressed like he just came from the gym even though it was apparent that he never set foot in one to begin with. In school he was cocky, upper class attitude of being better than anyone while tormenting those he deemed the bottom of society. Now he looked like he’s on hard times whether it be alcohol or drugs and making due with whatever he can to get by.

The second person I met was a bit surprising for me. In school I remember her as the one to make it all the way. She had great grades and was able to get into any college she wanted. Smart and likable in school but when I saw her I did a long double take. At first I didn’t recognize her but as we talked for a while I learned that all her dreams died or changed considerably because she and her boyfriend didn’t have protection from getting pregnant.

She couldn’t handle going to college and taking care of her baby so she gave up school, stayed with her parents while making the best she could do with a part time job. Eventually she married but she also had acquired government assistance in food stamps and medical coverage. I was surprised she had gained a lot of weight for she was very skinny in school. Now she looked like a complete different person.

What worked for me in school may not work for others. But I survived the bullying and being looked down by others as someone most likely to be forgotten. Most of those I went to school with did accomplish a lot in their life while other didn’t. I chose to not care about being in the different schools class societies such as: the jocks, nerds etc... I chose to instead to get through school by watching from the sidelines. Still bullied a lot and treated like an outcast but I survived.

Many former classmates have died since graduation due to drugs, alcohol and other vices but what surprises a lot of former classmates is that I’m still alive. And that I have been very active at that. Visited and lived in many different countries, almost arrested or killed several times as well as traveling across the country many times while meeting and experiencing many people and their cultures.  Most people who knew me have never journeyed at least 100 miles from their home or even went someplace outside the state of North Carolina.

That day I saw the path I chose to take in school as a justifiable one for me. It was a difficult one at the time but it ended up making me stronger. More prepared for the harshness that life after school was and did offer. I could have tried to be with the in-crowd and faked all those usual attitudes that people have in those groups. But I never could fake on who I really was, even though at the time I didn’t fully know my potential. But in the present day, after meeting those two, I believed that the choice I made a long time ago worked. 

My Silver Lining

As my oldest son continues to ask for help with his homework has brought back many memories I had at school. Some good and mostly the rest. My son is great in math and has no problem in that area of development but the rest he still struggles with. Recently he has been studying the American Revolution to even this day I can still remember. Of course unlike my son, I was great at History to the point I actually got my revenge on one of my teachers.

In choosing classes for my junior year at school, I wanted to take a college level History class. Which in all my previous World Civics had maintain an A level unlike my other classes which averaged out to a C+ which the teacher teaching the class I wanted to be in felt I was not even qualified. I was forced to take the average History class that was by chance, being taught by the same teacher.

Needless to say as the school year went on, I not only had the highest grade point average in the class room but for all the classes she was teaching in. And at a few times I stood so far out even she realized her mistake. At one point everyone had to give an oral report in class on a period of history that we were learning about. Everyone gave their report and turned in to the teacher the written version for further grading. As I stood in front of the class presenting my report I did feel like the king of the world.

After I finished my report, the teacher requested my written report to which my response left her speechless. I informed her that my report was still on my desk which as I retrieved it and presented it to her leaving the whole class, as well, to realize that I had recited the whole report from memory. I did get an A for the report but the teacher did admit that I should have been placed in the college level class.

By the time the midterm exams were finished, I was given another cause to celebrate. In all of my teachers’ classes, I had the highest test score. None of the other students in the college level class came close to my score. Not only did I get all the questions correct but I also correctly answered the extra credit ones as well. It was a huge victory for me in proving my teacher wrong. And as an added celebration, I was able to hear testimony from many of those in the college level class inform me that she keeps talking about me in class.

About my oral reports without notes of any kind, the high test scores and especially my ability to recall key points in history in great detail. But the cherry on top moment came as we were getting ready to take our final exams for the year. Our teacher calculated everyone’s grade average to so the students could see what they would need to make of the final exam to pass the class. As expected a few students were doomed to repeat the class again while many others had hope. In front of the whole class she read out everyone’s grade averages as with the grade they needed to make on the final exam.

To many in the classroom it felt humiliating as to others it removed a lot of pressure in knowing they were going to pass no matter the test results. The worst student had to make over 200 with many others having to make at least a D grade to pass the class.  Then she came to me. My grades were so high that I could not take the test and still have an A+ average in the class. But to prove a point I chose to take the test. And as predicted, I passed. I answered every question plus the bonus ones correctly. But the test I took was not the one everyone else in my class took.

As the teacher passed out the same test to everyone in the classroom, she instead had given me the advance level test instead. Whether to show I wasn’t that smart proving that I weren’t ready for collage level classes or to truly challenge me seeing as throughout the whole school year that I had showed that I could have taught the class just as good as she did.  Either way, I proved my point. Even the students in the college level classes didn’t even come close to the grades I made or the knowledge and understanding of everything that was taught.

 I did all this before computers were widely as they are today. While cable TV channels only carried movie channels, MTV and the Disney Channel were on pay per view. I read a lot of books and magazines, watched a lot of PBS programs and basically used my imagination to recreate many events and people in my thoughts so I could easily remember them later. Nowadays I watch a lot of the History Channel, Science Channel, as with other similar channels but I still take the time to simply read books. With technology the way it is today I have the pleasure of carrying many books all digitized to the size of a notebook.

I went through hell all through my school life so having something that I can claim a victory such as this is the silver lining for me.  But now I can take all that knowledge and use it to teach my son to better understand his history lessons and hopefully inspire him with the love of reading and proving that one can do anything when other say you can’t.

My Last Bully Attack

The following story is true. Most of the information is from my own personnel experiences plus testimonies from others who helped to complete the story of the last bullying attack against me. I do not recommend doing what I did but I admit in enjoying it greatly.

It was the last day of school for the school year of 1985. Everyone including myself was looking forward to summer fun and returning to school as seniors. I was looking forward to working again on my Uncles farm. Hard work, long hours and money to buy next school years supplies, clothing, music, comics and junk food. But on this day, everyone is more than happy and waiting for that last bell to ring. But as everyone is talking away about plans of beach and mountain trips, one boy was constantly making very rude comments towards me. This guy over the entire school year had been verbally attacking me as I did my best to avoid him. But it wasn’t as easy as there were a few other bullies I had to deal with. All the while as school officials did their best to protect their own image.

On this day he was going a little too far as the teacher and a few other students were trying to get him to stop but to no results. I remember him sitting on a table using my book bag as a foot rest. As he said made a rude comment again towards me I remember taking my book bag off the table as he continued his commentary. At this point I grabbed the table and flipped it over causing him to tumble onto the floor as well. As he gathered his composer, he pretty much lunged at me but to no avail on what he wanted to do to me.

I grabbed me flipping him around onto the floor and proceeded to grip my hands around his neck as I squeezed with every bit of strength I had. He pretty much stopped hitting me as he tried to unlock the grip I had on him. By this point things started to get a bit unclear as to what was happening. I started to get tunnel vision to the point of going totally blind. I was just staring blindly forward all the while sporting a huge smile. They say when a man goes crazy he ‘snaps’. It was more like a static crinkling effect for me.

It wasn’t until later I was told what it took to keep me from killing this guy. As I had my hands around his neck, I also had my knee wedged into his chest area keeping him from getting away from me. As the teacher and other students were grabbing my arms as well as my waist and anything they could grab to get me off this guy wasn’t working at all. As they pulled me off of him, my hands pulled him with me. They stated that I had the biggest smile they had ever seen to the point it was creeping out everyone as it appeared that I was truly enjoying what I was doing to this bully.

Luckily for him they were able to remove my hands from his neck and at this point my vision returned as well as the color on the guys face as he began to breathe again. When he was able to stand on his own, the teacher proceeded to take us to the office but she made sure a few of the other students went with us as protecting for the bully. I kind of lunged towards the guy when he got off the floor. We sat separately in the vice principal’s office as the teacher explained everything that had happened and basically stood up for me explaining all the crap I had to put up with this bully all year. Moments later I was allowed to leave to get my backpack and head home as the bell was ringing. The other guy stayed a while longer explaining his actions all year that led up to me nearly killing him.

I continued on through the summer working in 90 to 100 degree weather working on my Uncles farm enjoying as I do every year of operating heavy equipment, working before the sun rises and going to bed long after the sun has settled to sleep. Upon returning to school everything was starting out great. But in one my classes that same bully, I nearly killed, was there as well. As he was once again start up his verbal abuse again towards me again, he was interrupted by others who tried to stop him by reminding him what happened on that last day of school. Many other students wanted to know the whole story and of course it was retold in great detail. As this bully played it down by making up excuses for his defeat, he forever avoided me when I made a statement that really put a scare into everyone in the room, including the teacher.

For many classmates had been calling me ‘Lurch’ from the TV show ’Adams Family’ due to my deep voice so without looking at anyone in particular I simply stated, “I really enjoyed watching you die.”

Living Gets Better

For a while now I have been participating in a class reunion of sorts. Running into people that I went to Elementary and High School and finding out many interesting things. Some of which I already knew. A quick back story is that I wasn’t the most popular guy in school. More precisely is that I was bullied a lot all throughout my school life with the exception of 12 grade. But that’s due to the fact I almost killed a bully on the last day of school in the 11^th grade. But that’s another story.

 But getting back to the main point here is that I learned that most of the people I went to school with are dead now. Mostly involving the predictable reasons with that being drugs, alcohol. I saw one old bully from high school at a gas station. He looked like he needed a bath, glazed eyes, and couldn’t finish a sentence until he remembered what he was talking about all the while referencing his time in jail. He was the poster boy of drug use. Many of my former bullies that are still alive are living this way. One of them has a very difficult time staying married while decorating his entire body in tattoos.

The other day I had to go to school for my son. I met up with a woman I was in elementary school with who kept apologizing for all the treatment I went through school. I have to admit that I don’t remember everything that happened to me in school but that’s mostly due to me having to mentally block out a lot of ‘stuff’ I went through.  The bad part of it is that I couldn’t block out the rest of it. But over the past few days I was able to see and hear many events that has happened to so many people I went to school with. Many of my former class mates turned out OK; hard working people with a decent family life.

I will never go to class reunions or hang out with anyone I went to school with. There are a couple of them I see from time to time which is great but with so many other people that treated me like bug crap can know that I didn’t commit suicide, become an alcohol and drug user, go on a mass killings spree of old enemies or live in misery and grief all these years. It’s not that I didn’t care how I was treated or was inspired by one of those ‘love thy fellow man’ speeches taught in church every Sunday. I just didn’t see any of them being involved in my life after graduation.

So I grin and bared it all those years in school, living for the day that I will enjoy a better life than my teenage life. And I have done that. I traveled to different countries as well as across America. I lived a wonderful life and have been blessed with a great family. School only gave me a document to get a job. From their I met a better class of people. 

School Awards Day

Our boys school had awards day at school with each one of them getting an award.