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Monday, December 31, 2012

How to Find a Silver Lining in a Fog Bank (Part 2)


The original title was going to be ‘Why Drive When Walking is Faster’.

As Mika left for Okinawa to see her family, I headed home on what I thought was a highway. In reality, it was a parking lot that moved at the speed of a fart. As soon as I exited off of 495 HWY onto South bound 95 HWY at mile marker 170, I was forced into being held captive by a road system that not even those in the carpool lanes could escape from.  

As anyone who has had the dishonor of having their tax money misused would look upon this road system and its upkeep would agree that they would want those responsible for this travesty to have every orifice of their body repeatedly filled with their own bile and excrement with both force and longevity. In the course of two hours I was able to travel a grand total of less than 40 miles. And by the time I reached the exit for 295 HWY, which goes around Richmond, Virginia, it was still bumper to bumper traffic.

Only on the 295 HWY was anybody really able to make any headway. That is except for the multiple times that the slow drivers decided to travel in the far left lanes. Slow drivers in this lane was an old red pickup truck with a tarp full of trash in the back of it, at least three caravans and an assortment of other cars whose drivers thought driving 10 miles slower than the posted speed limit would make them feel like a safe driver.

As soon as the 295 HWY merged back onto the 95 HWY system, the parking lot was there waiting for many of us. Speed up for several yards then come to a complete stop. Didn’t matter which lane you were in, nobody was driving even close to the posted speed limit. I almost feel sorry for one car in the fast lane that was driving so slow that people driving around them was flipping them the finger and yelling out of the car window at these people. I say almost because I was behind them going about 50 MPH in a 70 MPH speed zone.

I had until 5:30 PM to have the rental car returned to the place in Knightdale, NC or I was going to be charged for another day’s rental. By the time I made it to the 64 HWY exits it was 5:02 PM. I had 47 miles to drive in less than 30 minutes. Due to my upbringing in a society where speed limit signs are meant as a form of suggestion, I hit the petal and drove as if I was in a NASCAR race. Speeds reaching 80 MPH and more in a 70 MPH zone as I weave in and out of a now more relaxed road system.

I finally reached the car rental place at 5:22 PM. Those at the rental agency knew that I was going to the DC airport and were very much surprised that I actually made it back in time. No extra fees to pay and I was then able to release a lot of built up stress from what I felt was a six hour road trip from hell. I couldn’t enjoy the driving nor could I even enjoy the radio due to travelling on an antiquated road system.

As I called to see when my ride was going to pick me up, I noticed that I had a text message from my wife. In my entire road trip of hell I never noticed that she had texted me. A simple message to be careful as I drove home. She must have sent the text just before her plane took off. And as I’m standing outside a car rental place, looking at this text, I totally forgot the headache and pains of driving back home. I could only think about her.

Getting home and getting the boys to bed as I quickly feel asleep myself, I was awakened around 3:30 AM. It was Mika at Japanese airport bus stop. She made it safely there but she was more concerned about me and wanted to know if I was OK. We talked for only a few minutes as she waited for her bus to arrive. But as I was still very tired from little sleep and high stress, I couldn’t go back to sleep for a good while.  Just hearing her voice gave me the energy to stay awake. Even though I was still dead tired and really wanted to go back to sleep, I couldn’t. So I watched TV until I fell back asleep. But I went back to sleep thinking only of her and not the headaches and pains of that day. My silver lining was always with me the whole time, no matter how far away we were from each other.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

How to Find a Silver Lining in a Fog Bank (Part 1)




My original title was going to be called 'Why ANA Really Sucks' but I changed it at the last moment.

I was severely tested on two items of my personal top 10 list of things that I love to do; my wife and long distance driving. Seeing as my wife Mika, who’s Okinawan, was going to pay final respects to her mother who recently passed away. Plans were set out to find the most direct flight as possible. That led us to the Dulles International Airport in the Washington DC area. With all the necessary arrangements and a rental car, we were all set for the trip.

With my sister babysitting our two boys, we left home around midnight. Stopping only for a quick meal and fuel up, we headed out on the highway by 12:30 on a long 5 hour drive to the airport. And as tradition held fast in our family, my wife was fast asleep within 15 minutes. And so begins one of my big loves of life with that being long distance driving. An extra-large bucket of soda, a couple of plain cheese burgers, chips, a giant snickers bar and the radio set on Classic Rock with an open road in front of me. Better than sex. Almost.

With hardly any cars on the road in the middle of the night and my lack of driving the speed limit, I was making great time. So much so that by 4:15 we’re pulling into the airport parking lot. Thirty minutes later, my wife was ready to get out of the car. And if you are married or have a girlfriend then you know a woman will not get out of a car until she looks and smells great. Walking pass the small snow mounds in the freezing air we entered the airport and proceeded to locate the nearest bathroom.

We then sat down to wait till 8:20 for the ANA ticket counter to open up. In that time we finally had time to really talk about a lot of things. Our life together, our concerns about the kids, our future and the promise to make sure the kids eat right while she’s gone. We talked for a long time about the clothing people were wearing at the airport, the weather conditions as the whole time we were constantly holding hands.

By 8:20 the ANA counter opened up and she was all set to fly. We then asked for a pass so I could be with her as she boarded the plan. The lady at the counter was a little bit reluctant but asked her supervisor for her opinion. They both along with my wife had a long Japanese conversation as these two women were smiling like they just won the lottery. The whole time I’m thinking that I’ll get the pass to be with my wife.  But Mika turns to me and said they won’t give me a pass due to new rules. Both women were still smiling to the point that I could see their back molars.

Mika didn’t want to push the issue but I we went to an information booth to try and get a pass for me. We found the booth and told our story. He was surprised that ANA turned our request down stating that no new rules were in place to prevent them from doing so. He gave us a few ideas as to try and get a pass from ANA but my wife was really worried about making trouble so I eventually relented and we walked around the airport for a while. Eventually sitting down and talked some more.

In time we had to part ways. We said our good-bye’s and she disappeared down the escalator as I was prepared to go and sit down and wait for her plane to leave. One of the airport staff watching us stopped me and directed me to an area of the airport where I could see her plane. Until her plane left, I stood by this huge glass window area. Watching an ANA plan unload and reload. After a while Mika called me as she had finally made it to her gate. She couldn't really see where I was standing at due to the passenger walkway to the plane and a Starbucks blocking her view. But we talked. We talked again as passengers were boarding the plane.  I told her that she had plenty of time as the luggage was just beginning to be loaded onto the plane.

Eventually her plane was pulling out and heading for the runway as I turned and headed for the car on a long and lonely ride home. We were pulled apart before we were ready. But we were still together. Yes by phone but as she was boarding the plane we were speaking the same words to each other. As I left the viewing area, the same staff member asked if I was OK. We chatted for a few minutes. He knew what was going on for he sees it every day with couples having to say good-by too soon due to laws and anarchists.

That day I faced what to me and us was a huge test. Little did I know there were even more forces waiting to test me as I left the airport. But that’s in part 2.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Surviving Christmas Eve


Well I survived the Christmas shopping days. There is nothing better than watching people shopping like it’s the end of the world. Grocery stores and department stores closed for one day has turned normal people into crazed lunatics. Shopping carts of food loaded down with enough supplies to last for weeks. And their driving habits are to die for.

As I’m working department stores and grocery stores I take 30 minutes out of my busy day to grab something to eat while sitting in the company truck while listening to Christmas music.  During that time two cars at different times, both driven by women, nearly collided with me.  As they backed away from my park truck, not once did they remove the cell phone from their ear. Not once did they even mouth the words “I’m sorry”. But they clearly understood the words I was mouthing to them.  

But the fun continued on through the day as I was working my last store at closing time. A store that for the past month and ½  has posted on the door the closing time on Christmas Eve, 6 PM. As I am walking out the door at about 5:50 PM there was a caravan type atmosphere of cars entering the parking area. Dodging an army of lost shopping carts left by the previous hoarders, they circled the parking lot as sharks onto a lost surfer.  

Before I could even make it to the truck a car broke off from the pack and followed me like the character Jason from the Halloween movies. As any vendor will tell you, after a long day when you’re getting in your vehicle to go home, you just want to relax a bit. To unwind and reduce as much work stress as possible before going home to one’s family but not that night.

This person made it clear that he wanted my parking spot and was very helpful in letting me know that it was safe to leave. Using the highlight beams from his car, the turn signal and the fact that as cars were coming and going in other parking areas, he didn’t move a bit. He eventually gave up though as a patrol car clearly motioned for him to move. As he left , I started up the company truck and pulled out as another person quickly took the vacant spot.

But by then it was too late. The store was finally closed. A long line of customers checking out with a long line of people standing and staring at a locked door in a weird and demonic way felt good. Heading home I had dinner, checked my emails, set up the satellite box to copy some shows and then I took a nap. Afterwards as the kids finally went to sleep, we did what all parents do and got the livingroom ready for the next morning.

By morning the stress of the holiday shoppers was far from my mind as Christmas day was filled with more important feelings than the image of a man begging to get into a closed grocery store to buy a turkey for Christmas dinner. 

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Fullmetal New Year

My wife loves Fullmetal Alchemist.

Being Honest Can Cost You


Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.

I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.

He said they love animals very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, mutton and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.

I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.

I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now...

Merry Christmas To All Who Don't

RE: Gala Christmas Party
FROM:    Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO:         All Employees
DATE:    October 1, 2012

I am happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!  We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along.  And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM.  Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.  This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty
 

FROM:    Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO:         All Employees
DATE:    October 2, 2012
RE:       Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.  We recognize that  Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.  However, from now on,  we're calling it our "Holiday Party."  The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.  There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung.  We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty
 



Company Memo
FROM:   Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO:        All Employees
DATE:   October 3, 2012
RE:        Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name.  I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore.  How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
 

Company Memo
FROM:  Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To:        All Employees
DATE:   October 4, 2012
RE:        Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are!  I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.  There goes the party!  Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs.  Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home.    
Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other.  Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.
Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms.  
Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food .  
The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. 
Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
 

Company Memo
FROM:   Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO:         All  F...... Employees
DATE:    October  5, 2012
RE:         The F****** Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!!  We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f***** salad bar, including organic tomatoes.  But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too.  They scream when you slice them.  I've heard them scream.  I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you f***** weirdo’s can kiss my ass.  I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,
The Bitch from Hell!!!
 

Company Memo
FROM:  Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE:   October  6, 2012

RE:        Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Joan

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Pacific Rim (movie)


When legions of monstrous creatures, known as Kaiju, start rising from the sea, a war begins that takes millions of lives and consumes humanity's resources for years on end. To combat the giant Kaiju, a special type of weapon is devised: massive robots, called Jaegers, which are controlled simultaneously by two pilots whose minds are locked in a neural bridge. But even the Jaegers prove nearly defenseless in the face of the relentless Kaiju.

On the verge of defeat, the forces defending mankind have no choice but to turn to two unlikely heroes - a washed up former pilot (Charlie Hunnam) and an untested trainee (Rinko Kikuchi) - who are teamed to drive a legendary but seemingly obsolete Jaeger from the past. Together, they stand as mankind’s last hope against the mounting apocalypse.

Pacific Rim premieres July 12th, 2013.



Orange Caramel - Dashing Through the Snow on High Heels





* Kiss me, Kiss me
Before this winter passes
Love me, love me, as much as I love you
Hey you, can you hear me? What I’m saying?
I don’t want anything else

** When I see you, the bells ring in my heart
I think you will tell me today as well
Like in my dream last night

It’s cold but I wear pretty clothes
It’s snowing but I wear high heels
I want to walk all night with you tonight

Dashing through the snow
I search for you
This feeling of running to you
The cold wind feels so refreshing
You (you) are a bigger present than anything in this world
흰눈 사이로

Today, it feels like everything will go well
I muster up courage and the white snow falls as if to show

* Repeat

** Repeat

Today, it feels like my wishes will come true
I will get a little more excited
Just like this

* Repeat

** Repeat

This merry night (the moment I’ve been waiting for)
When it becomes silent (for all this time)
The things I’ve hidden, I want to tell you it all

Kiss me, Kiss me
A present that’s better than you?
I don’t know what that is
Will the day I’ve been waiting for be today?
Like in my dream last night?

Kiss me on my lips (ha)
Turn on all the lights today (right now)
Before the snow stops falling
You are clearly before my eyes

Here are the confessions, Listen up ma
You can be my boo and I can be your star (HA!)
God please answer my prayers, grant my wish
Girl I’ll always be your Mister,
Will you be my Miss?

Best Christmas Photo EVER

Link 

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Face of Meth

Link to more images
Well I did my usually speech to my kids about the dangers of doing drugs. The best part is that with the internet I can show them what illegal drugs can do to the human body. Mind you that these boys have seen , countless hours of watching the Dragonball Z series, Kamen Rider, Sentai Series (that’s Power Rangers), Ultraman and Fullmetal Alchemist including an array of other action movies ranging from the entire Lord of The Rings trilogy to Godzilla and the Transformers movie series. Just to name a few.


And as my two sons, ages 11 and 12, are watching the images of people being transformed by the use of meth really put the fear into them so much so that one of them ran out of the room in fear of one particular image he saw. Proving once again I did a great job of driving the point home of how drugs can change a person’s life. Now if I can just get them to clean their room.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

PSY-cho exposed

Link here for full story
second link
The past is catching up to the Korean entertainer who in 2002 made an anti war demonstration song. As its everyone's right to express their feelings on matters that are important to them, what is said though can come back to harm you years later.

Here is an excerpt of his song.

Y'S ANTI-AMERICAN RAP

'Kill those f*****g Yankees who have been torturing Iraqi captives
Kill those f*****g Yankees who ordered them to torture
Kill their daughters, mothers, daughters-in-law and fathers
Kill them all slowly and painfully'


Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

10 Long Inches of Pleasure

A pound of milk chocolate, peanuts, caramel and nougats. The perfect food to eat while watching all those Christmas specials on TV. Also my wife doesn't like to do a lot of cooking when its cold. Hence my expertise of frozen pizza's, the microwave oven and ready to eat package foods. 

How Goya Your Christmas


Goya is Okinawa’s very popular, but very bitter vegetable and a significant ingredient in the Okinawan cuisine. It’s popularly is credited with Okinawan life expectancies being higher than the already long Japanese ones.

Goya has always traveled with claims of ‘healthy’ and ‘promotes longevity’, but now many advocates are saying the cucumber-like melon is good for nearly whatever ails you. It is being used in processed foods, mixed in salads and champura dishes, and is now finding a niche in new food products.

The goya is stated as having three times more vitamin C than lemon fruits, and five times as much as the tomato, and it protects against heat. Advocates claim it even battles fat, providing nutrition while keeping fat from forming. Medical researchers are also discovering the goya reduces blood sugar levels, a boon for diabetics and works in lowering high blood pressure.

Goya’s are expanding to new products such as goya chips, which are not quite so bitter and have a good taste. It's used in the process of making beer as a substitution of the hops. It is even mixed with chocolate as these taste goya sweets are available in many Okinawan supermarkets.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Words of Wisdom


1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.6 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last; thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
25. If you stand on a toilet are you high on pot.
26. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
27. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is that considered a hostage crisis?
28. If a man runs behind a car will get exhausted...if he runs in front of car he will get tired.
29. If FedEx and Ups merged, would they call it Fed UP?
30. Ham and eggs: a day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
31. There once was a dog named Tax. I opened the door and income Tax.
32. There are three ways a man wears his hair: parted, unparted or departed.
33. Age doesn't always bring wisdom. “Sometimes age comes alone”
34. Never say, "Give me a break" to a Black Belt in Karate.
35. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

Friday, November 30, 2012

The Little Spider who Saved Jesus





This is a story about a little baby spider who saved Jesus' life.

King Herod was very much afraid of the baby Messiah. He had been visited by Wise Men and Kings from foreign lands. All traveled to pay tribute to the newborn baby who is destined to bring a new kingdom to the World. He had become fearful of losing power, especially to a baby, and placed orders for all children two years and younger to be killed. Sometimes even the parents were killed trying to protect their children. Jesus' parents, as well as other who had heard the news, fled to Egypt for safety. They traveled mostly during the night so they would not see them. But the vast Roman army was quickly catching up to guard the borders.

It was much quicker to cross the open plains but very difficult to go over the rugged mountain terrain, especially when you are carrying a newborn baby. Guided by Angels, they started their journey over the mountain tops. From their viewpoint at night time, they could see the campfires of the approaching Romans soldiers and at times they were able to hear their voices. Mary was very fatigued and needed some rest. 

After all, she had just recently given birth and had very little time to recover before fleeing for their safety.
As they traveled over one of the mountain tops, they came across a series of caves. Joseph, lighting a torch, looked into the caves to see which one was better suited to hide in. Mary was already sleeping on the ground when Joseph returned. Jesus as well was calmly sleeping in Mary's arms. Joseph carried them as quickly as he could to the back of one of these caves. Before leaving, Joseph being a carpenter and therefore skilled with his hands, had made a sword. While Mary and Jesus hid, Joseph kept guard just in case the soldiers entered the cave.

They were so far in the cave that they could not see the opening any more. This was Joseph's strategy. For what soldier would want to search a deep, dark cave with the chance of meeting a wild animal in one of them. By nightfall, the Roman army was already at the bottom of the mountain terrain where Joseph and his family were hiding. The solders were preparing their evening meals, sharpening their weapons and sharing war stories. By morning they would surely be searching the caves.

The cave Joseph and his family were hiding in did not have a wild animal in it, but it did have another inhabitant: a little baby spider. This spider was awakened when Joseph carried his family into the cave. He was curious as to why anybody would want to enter a cave. So when Joseph came out of the cave to check on the soldiers, the little spider climbed onto Joseph and journeyed with him to the mountain's edge. There they saw and heard the soldiers.

With tears in his eyes, Joseph quietly prayed to God.

“Father of Abraham, I was guided by a dream to be with Mary; I was guided by you to protect her and the baby. I see only death within reach of me and those I love. I see nothing beyond the next day but those who have already passed away. To quietly leave now, unseen by the Romans and those you blessed me with would be a fate worse than death itself. I may never fully understand but I do know that I would rather die living than to live dead. And I chose to follow my heart and stand ready to do what my mind says otherwise. I am scared but I will protect them with my life. You do not have to worry about me.”

The little spider hearing Joseph's prayer and was deeply moved. He did not know anything about the baby Messiah, but his heart was moved by the love and sacrifice of a father. When Joseph returned to the cave to check on his family, the little spider jumped off of him. The little spider wanted to help but what could a spider do; especially a baby spider? So he thought for a moment, and immediately had an idea.

The spider crawled to the cave's opening and began to make a spider's web, but not any ordinary spider's web. This would be his first spider's web and he wanted it to be the biggest and best of any kind. After all, he wanted to help the family whom he had heard Joseph praying about. And so, during the long cold night, this little baby spider kept weaving his beautiful web. Never once did he take a rest or slow down. Running along strands of web and swinging through the air, this spider was focusing everything he had on completing his first spider's web.

As the sun was coming up over the horizon, the Roman soldiers were preparing their journey up the mountainside. Joseph was deep in the cave never to have gone to sleep. The baby spider was very slow compared to the much older and experienced spiders, but he kept working as fast as he could while the soldiers came closer and closer. As the soldiers approached the opening of the cave where Joseph's family was in, they stopped.   

There before them was a wall of web. A web pattern the like none have never seen before. The morning dew was already covering the web, and as the morning light was hitting the web, an array of incredibly beautiful colors was reflecting off of it. It looked as if a rainbow were covering the cave's entrance. And to add more beauty to it, as the solders moved around they could see the changing colors of the web. A combination of morning dew and light has blinded them. It was as if they were looking upon the door to Heaven.

The army commander, as well as the others, was so impressed with the beauty of the web that they stared at it for what appeared to be for eternity. Not just the colors shining off of it but the patterns within patterns. Soldiers were seeing all sorts of shapes and symbols; artwork like no one has ever created before. No one wished to damage it and excuses were being made to protect it.

The commanding officer reasoned that it would have taken many days to weave such a magnificent web and if anyone had entered the cave would have surely damaged the web. He gave orders to protect the spiders’ web. Joseph being at the back of the cave and hearing every word the soldiers were saying was curious about the spider's web which he surely would have seen when he entered the cave. By evening, when the army had moved onward towards the other mountains terrains, Joseph awoke Mary and they made their way to the caves entrance.

There they saw the same rainbow effect from the evening sunset which the Roman soldiers had seen from the morning sunrise. During the whole day not once did Jesus cry or make trouble in endanger his parents' as well as his own life. Mary awoke Jesus so he could see the beautiful web. He saw the different colors and began laughing with great joy. After the sun had set, Joseph used his sword to cut an opening to continue their journey to Egypt.

Leaving the cave, Jesus began smiling and waving towards an area of the cave. Mary was curiously looking around to see what he was looking at but saw nothing. Jesus was waving directly towards the little spider that had saved him and his family from certain death. Making their way through the terrain and safely entered Egypt, avoiding the armies that King Herod had sent out with orders to kill the King of the Jews, they stayed until it was safe to return home.

The little spider was honored to have saved their life. Taught by a prayer, the little spider learned to help others to best way he could. From the sacrifice of the whole night's rest, the whole world was able to come much closer to understanding this. Creating a thing of beauty that has inspired the world with a love for others to be a part of.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Raking the Leaves


Nothing like raking leaves as the sun is going down. 
Especially if done with a lawn mower while listening to an MP3 player.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Bojangles Seasoning


We go through about 20 pounds of potatoes a week. Largely due to the great seasoning that Bojangles is selling now in their stores and online. Even makes pork, chicken, steak and hamburger taste even better than using salt.


Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Pretzel Rolos


This is the easiest recipe to make.

Items needed:
1.      Mini pretzels
2.      Rolo candies
3.      Parchment paper
4.      Nuts – pecans, walnuts or other large size nuts
(M&M’s, sugar drop candies or your choice as a topping can be used)

Here’s what you do:
1.      Preheat oven to 300 degrees
2.      Cut parchment paper to fit on cooking tray (pizza tray can also be used)
3.      Spread out the mini pretzels onto tray
4.      Remove the wrapper of each Rolo and place one Rolo on one pretzel
5.      Once done, place tray in the over for 5 minutes
6.      After 5 minutes, remove from oven

The appearance of the Rolos looks unchanged but the they are melted so as to continue to the next step:
1.      Do not remove from the cooking tray just yet
2.      Take what topping you like and place one topping onto a Rolo
3.      Press lightly
4.      Let cool for a while
5.      Moved to a plate and begin eating



Sunday, November 25, 2012

Who Was Jesus?


There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He didn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father’s business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Redneck:
1. He does a lot of fishing.
2. Always in trouble with local officials.
3. Hangs out with crooks, low-life’s and prostitutes.

But the most compelling evidence of all is proof that Jesus was a woman:
1.  He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was virtually no food.
2.  He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3.  And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

How Was Your Day?


Does anyone what to know how my day went? I was working towards having an easy day servicing the grocery stores as the rest of mankind was at the mall and department stores. And so on this day, Murphy's Law reared its ugly head and made me its whipping boy.

The whole endcap section collapsed. Completely full of 1.5 Pepsi bottles and 18 pack can drinks on the front shelves. The side sections held Cheez-It's and store brand chips. It took eight(8) shopping carts to carry everything to the backroom for me to clean up. Including mopping the sales floor and the trail of soda leading to the backroom.