The following is from a diary entry of a woman who wanted to have a
greater sex life with her husband. She later regretted her choice as the old
Chinese proverb has clearly testified ~ "Be careful what you wish for you may just
get it".
Day 1
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much
to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked
himself in the bathroom and cried.
Day 2
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He’s
impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell
me something I don’t know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven’t noticed.
Day 3
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I
saw a picture of Nelson’s Column and burst into tears.
Day 4
A miracle has happened! There’s a new drug on the market
that will fix his ‘problem’. It’s called Viagra. I told him that if he takes
Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this
will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something
other than his mood.
Day 5
What absolute bliss!!.
Day 6
Isn't life wonderful but it’s difficult to write while he’s
doing that.
Day 7
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended!
Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I’d like a Whopper. He
thought they were talking about him. But, have to admit it’s very nice – I
don’t think I've ever been so happy.
Day 8
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday,
instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed whacker. I’m
also getting a bit sore down there.
Day 9
No time to write. He might catch me.
Day 10
Okay, I admit it. I’m hiding. I mean, a girl can only take
so much. And to make matters worse, he’s washing the Viagra down with neat
whisky! What am I going to do? I feel tacky all over….
Day 11
I’m basically being screwed to death. It’s like living with
a Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my
armpits hurt. He’s a complete pig.
Day 12
I wish he was gay. I've stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my
teeth or even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has become
dangerous…
Day 13
Every time I shut my eyes, there’s a sneak attack! It’s like
going to bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that “Oops,
sorry” thing again, I’ll kill the bastard.
Day 14
I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I
even started dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him hornier. Help
me!
Day 15
I think I’ll have to kill him. I’m starting to stick to
everything I sit on. The cat and dog won’t go near him and our friends don’t
come over any more. Last night I told him to go and fuck himself and he did.
Day 16
The bastard has started to complain about headaches. I hope
the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra and
going back on Prozac.
Day 17
Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any
difference…Christ! Here he comes again!
Day 18
He’s back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front
of the TV all day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do
everything for him. What absolute bliss!
