Norad Santa Tracking

The Little Spider who Saved Jesus

This is a story about a little baby spider who saved Jesus' life.

King Herod was very much afraid of the baby Messiah. He had been visited by Wise Men and Kings from foreign lands. All traveled to pay tribute to the newborn baby who is destined to bring a new kingdom to the World. He had become fearful of losing power, especially to a baby, and placed orders for all children two years and younger to be killed. Sometimes even the parents were killed trying to protect their children. Jesus' parents, as well as other who had heard the news, fled to Egypt for safety. They traveled mostly during the night so they would not see them. But the vast Roman army was quickly catching up to guard the borders.

It was much quicker to cross the open plains but very difficult to go over the rugged mountain terrain, especially when you are carrying a newborn baby. Guided by Angels, they started their journey over the mountain tops. From their viewpoint at night time, they could see the campfires of the approaching Romans soldiers and at times they were able to hear their voices. Mary was very fatigued and needed some rest. After all, she had just recently given birth and had very little time to recover before fleeing for their safety.

As they traveled over one of the mountain tops, they came across a series of caves. Joseph, lighting a torch, looked into the caves to see which one was better suited to hide in. Mary was already sleeping on the ground when Joseph returned. Jesus as well was calmly sleeping in Mary's arms. Joseph carried them as quickly as he could to the back of one of these caves. Before leaving, Joseph being a carpenter and therefore skilled with his hands, had made a sword. While Mary and Jesus hid, Joseph kept guard just in case the soldiers entered the cave.

They were so far in the cave that they could not see the opening any more. This was Joseph's strategy. For what soldier would want to search a deep, dark cave with the chance of meeting a wild animal in one of them. By nightfall, the Roman army was already at the bottom of the mountain terrain where Joseph and his family were hiding. The solders were preparing their evening meals, sharpening their weapons and sharing war stories. By morning they would surely be searching the caves.

The cave Joseph and his family were hiding in did not have a wild animal in it, but it did have another inhabitant: a little baby spider. This spider was awakened when Joseph carried his family into the cave. He was curious as to why anybody would want to enter a cave. So when Joseph came out of the cave to check on the soldiers, the little spider climbed onto Joseph and journeyed with him to the mountain's edge. There they saw and heard the soldiers.

With tears in his eyes, Joseph quietly prayed to God.

“Father of Abraham, I was guided by a dream to be with Mary; I was guided by you to protect her and the baby. I see only death within reach of me and those I love. I see nothing beyond the next day but those who have already passed away. To quietly leave now, unseen by the Romans and those you blessed me with would be a fate worse than death itself. I may never fully understand but I do know that I would rather die living than to live dead. And I chose to follow my heart and stand ready to do what my mind says otherwise. I am scared but I will protect them with my life. You do not have to worry about me.”

The little spider hearing Joseph's prayer and was deeply moved. He did not know anything about the baby Messiah, but his heart was moved by the love and sacrifice of a father. When Joseph returned to the cave to check on his family, the little spider jumped off of him. The little spider wanted to help but what could a spider do; especially a baby spider? So he thought for a moment, and immediately had an idea.

The spider crawled to the cave's opening and began to make a spider's web, but not any ordinary spider's web. This would be his first spider's web and he wanted it to be the biggest and best of any kind. After all, he wanted to help the family whom he had heard Joseph praying about. And so, during the long cold night, this little baby spider kept weaving his beautiful web. Never once did he take a rest or slow down. Running along strands of web and swinging through the air, this spider was focusing everything he had on completing his first spider's web.

As the sun was coming up over the horizon, the Roman soldiers were preparing their journey up the mountainside. Joseph was deep in the cave never to have gone to sleep. The baby spider was very slow compared to the much older and experienced spiders, but he kept working as fast as he could while the soldiers came closer and closer. As the soldiers approached the opening of the cave where Joseph's family was in, they stopped.    

There before them was a wall of web. A web pattern the like none have never seen before. The morning dew was already covering the web, and as the morning light was hitting the web, an array of incredibly beautiful colors was reflecting off of it. It looked as if a rainbow were covering the cave's entrance. And to add more beauty to it, as the solders moved around they could see the changing colors of the web. A combination of morning dew and light has blinded them. It was as if they were looking upon the door to Heaven.

The army commander, as well as the others, was so impressed with the beauty of the web that they stared at it for what appeared to be for eternity. Not just the colors shining off of it but the patterns within patterns. Soldiers were seeing all sorts of shapes and symbols; artwork like no one has ever created before. No one wished to damage it and excuses were being made to protect it.

The commanding officer reasoned that it would have taken many days to weave such a magnificent web and if anyone had entered the cave would have surely damaged the web. He gave orders to protect the spiders’ web. Joseph being at the back of the cave and hearing every word the soldiers were saying was curious about the spider's web which he surely would have seen when he entered the cave. By evening, when the army had moved onward towards the other mountains terrains, Joseph awoke Mary and they made their way to the caves entrance.

There they saw the same rainbow effect from the evening sunset which the Roman soldiers had seen from the morning sunrise. During the whole day not once did Jesus cry or make trouble in endanger his parents' as well as his own life. Mary awoke Jesus so he could see the beautiful web. He saw the different colors and began laughing with great joy. After the sun had set, Joseph used his sword to cut an opening to continue their journey to Egypt.

Leaving the cave, Jesus began smiling and waving towards an area of the cave. Mary was curiously looking around to see what he was looking at but saw nothing. Jesus was waving directly towards the little spider that had saved him and his family from certain death. Making their way through the terrain and safely entered Egypt, avoiding the armies that King Herod had sent out with orders to kill the King of the Jews, they stayed until it was safe to return home.

The little spider was honored to have saved their life. Taught by a prayer, the little spider learned to help others to best way he could. From the sacrifice of the whole night's rest, the whole world was able to come much closer to understanding this. Creating a thing of beauty that has inspired the world with a love for others to be a part of.

Making the News Again

I check the website again and sure enough another photo of both boys made it to the stations slideshow.

Making the News

With the boys out of school due to the weather I took some pictures while sending a few of them to WRAL- TV. They placed one of those pictures of my youngest son on their website.

My Last Bully Attack

The following story is true. Most of the information is from my own personnel experiences plus testimonies from others who helped to complete the story of the last bullying attack against me. I do not recommend doing what I did but I admit in enjoying it greatly.

It was the last day of school for the school year of 1985. Everyone including myself was looking forward to summer fun and returning to school as seniors. I was looking forward to working again on my Uncles farm. Hard work, long hours and money to buy next school years supplies, clothing, music, comics and junk food. But on this day, everyone is more than happy and waiting for that last bell to ring. But as everyone is talking away about plans of beach and mountain trips, one boy was constantly making very rude comments towards me. This guy over the entire school year had been verbally attacking me as I did my best to avoid him. But it wasn’t as easy as there were a few other bullies I had to deal with. All the while as school officials did their best to protect their own image.

On this day he was going a little too far as the teacher and a few other students were trying to get him to stop but to no results. I remember him sitting on a table using my book bag as a foot rest. As he said made a rude comment again towards me I remember taking my book bag off the table as he continued his commentary. At this point I grabbed the table and flipped it over causing him to tumble onto the floor as well. As he gathered his composer, he pretty much lunged at me but to no avail on what he wanted to do to me.

I grabbed me flipping him around onto the floor and proceeded to grip my hands around his neck as I squeezed with every bit of strength I had. He pretty much stopped hitting me as he tried to unlock the grip I had on him. By this point things started to get a bit unclear as to what was happening. I started to get tunnel vision to the point of going totally blind. I was just staring blindly forward all the while sporting a huge smile. They say when a man goes crazy he ‘snaps’. It was more like a static crinkling effect for me.

It wasn’t until later I was told what it took to keep me from killing this guy. As I had my hands around his neck, I also had my knee wedged into his chest area keeping him from getting away from me. As the teacher and other students were grabbing my arms as well as my waist and anything they could grab to get me off this guy wasn’t working at all. As they pulled me off of him, my hands pulled him with me. They stated that I had the biggest smile they had ever seen to the point it was creeping out everyone as it appeared that I was truly enjoying what I was doing to this bully.

Luckily for him they were able to remove my hands from his neck and at this point my vision returned as well as the color on the guys face as he began to breathe again. When he was able to stand on his own, the teacher proceeded to take us to the office but she made sure a few of the other students went with us as protecting for the bully. I kind of lunged towards the guy when he got off the floor. We sat separately in the vice principal’s office as the teacher explained everything that had happened and basically stood up for me explaining all the crap I had to put up with this bully all year. Moments later I was allowed to leave to get my backpack and head home as the bell was ringing. The other guy stayed a while longer explaining his actions all year that led up to me nearly killing him.

I continued on through the summer working in 90 to 100 degree weather working on my Uncles farm enjoying as I do every year of operating heavy equipment, working before the sun rises and going to bed long after the sun has settled to sleep. Upon returning to school everything was starting out great. But in one my classes that same bully, I nearly killed, was there as well. As he was once again start up his verbal abuse again towards me again, he was interrupted by others who tried to stop him by reminding him what happened on that last day of school. Many other students wanted to know the whole story and of course it was retold in great detail. As this bully played it down by making up excuses for his defeat, he forever avoided me when I made a statement that really put a scare into everyone in the room, including the teacher.

For many classmates had been calling me ‘Lurch’ from the TV show ’Adams Family’ due to my deep voice so without looking at anyone in particular I simply stated, “I really enjoyed watching you die.”

Fun in the Snow

As expected the boys will not be going to school today due to the weather conditions. That being snow turning over to freezing rain to just plain rain by this afternoon. With that my wife is still in bed refusing to move an inch as the rest of us headed outside to pummel each other in a combination of snowballs and ice balls. We would have stayed out longer but seeing how as we were starting to gather a nice ice coating all over us, we decided to spend the rest of the day hunkered down in the living room watching cartoon and eating junk food. It’s been a great day.

Dinner with the Sharks

My wife and I recently went to the Crabtree Valley Mall in Raleigh to listen to a Christmas Choir as we enjoyed our lunch as well as to do some shopping of sorts. By one of the mall entrances was a display of a Megalodon shark. Needless to say she took lots of pictures.

Dragonball Z Wanna-be

My two boys recently discovered a cartoon show that I was watching when I was in high school. Over the years I was able to collect the VHS tapes of all the shows and movies only to later begin acquiring the DVD sets. But after surviving the live action fiasco I still remain a fan of the animated show. So when the new series called Dragon Ball Z Kai started, I was more than ready to not only watch this show on TV but to get my kids connected to the show.

At first they weren’t interested at all. More precisely they would leave the room the moment the show came on. But it wasn’t until Vegeta turned into the giant ape that my youngest one started watching it. Bit by bit he would watch, getting to the point he would start You Tube surfing the show to the point he proclaimed himself a fan of the show. But his older brother was still not interested. That is until he started seeing the video’s of the Super Saiyans fighting Cell. Then at that point my oldest son became a huge fan of the show.

Luckily I had a the original series on DVD so they could watch the shows again but this led to a great deal of confusion for the series they are watching on TV is the Dragonball Z Kai version. So it took quite a while to explain the absence of a lot of characters in the Kai version. But overall they’re still huge fans with a great deal of inspiration to learn Karate. Although they are a bit disappointed that they will not be able to fly and shot beams of energy from their hands. For that matter, the ability to turn their hair all glowing yellow. 

Doctor Who Christmas

Moses - Pillar of Fire and Smoke

As Moses led all the Israelites out of Egypt, he was faces constantly with mutiny all around him. Many of these people still wanted to live as slaves under Egyptian rule. They were provided a home, food and protection from other nations that may have attacked Egypt from time to time. But being told that they are the chosen people who had to roam the desert, searching for food everyday while fighting off different nation’s armies all the while as they lived as Nomads was too much for a great deal many of the Israelites.

Given the life expectancy of people living in this time period it is safe to assume that all those who left Egypt had died before their 40 year Nomadic life had ended. And those who entered the promised land where those who were born in the desert with no memory of living as slaves but instead lived with knowing a better life was ahead of them; a  permanent home to call their very own. But during this nomadic life many people plotted to kill Moses and his family in order to return to a slave’s life.

It is recorded that there were over 600,000 fighting men. As with the customs of that time a boy became a man at age 14 and to be called a man also meant that one had to have a wife as well. Added to the fact that having large families were extremely common at this time. The population could have number from two to three million Israelites by the time they entered Judea. With so many people to feed everyday required a lot of planning and an army of people working constantly to provide the basic necessities everyday. 

  

The Israelites did not walk around the desert everyday. They rested from days to weeks at a time. And this is where the miracle of the pillars of fire and smoke applied itself to not only guide the Israelites but to separate the enemies of Moses from one another. When it looked like there was to be a revolt of any type Moses would make preparations to have all the people to break camp and continue their journey through the desert. And this tactic kept his most powerful enemies separated as well as focused more on the needed on the present survival of the Israelites.

Moses would send at least 250,000 people on at least a two to three days trip while the rest of the Israelites stayed at their present campsite. These people would journey ahead in search of a camp site for all the other Israelites. They would set up the area, gather food as well as other materials for the rest of the two to three million Israelites that were only a few days journey away.  So how did Moses find this advance team in the middle of the desert? By the fires the advance team kept burning. Fires at night not just for warmth but for protection from wild animal attacks as to cooking the food, making weapons, washing clothing as examples for during the day.

There was no GPS signal, cell phones or any electronics of any type; the only guide Moses had to follow was the smoke coming from the fires by day and seeing the light of the fires at night. Seeing as I live miles away from the nearest city and at nighttime I can easily find the city by its light shining up the nighttime sky. But there was a little more to Moses plan to quiet the rumors of rebellion against him.

When the Israelites moved to a new campsite, Moses left behind roughly 250,000 people to clean up the area of any remnants of their stay. Later they would rejoin the rest of the Israelites upon completing their task. This was a multi plan that Moses used to not only keep his enemies separated from planning their rebellion but to keep wild animals from following and attacking them as well as to not upset different countries and bring the wraith of the many nations that the Israelites were traveling through.

   

While the Israelites moved, Moses enemies were powerless and the nations they traveled through were happy that they were leaving. Until the day when all those born in Egypt had died and the children of the desert could appreciate entering the land flowing with milk and honey instead of living off on manna and quail.

Living Gets Better

For a while now I have been participating in a class reunion of sorts. Running into people that I went to Elementary and High School and finding out many interesting things. Some of which I already knew. A quick back story is that I wasn’t the most popular guy in school. More precisely is that I was bullied a lot all throughout my school life with the exception of 12 grade. But that’s due to the fact I almost killed a bully on the last day of school in the 11^th grade. But that’s another story.

 But getting back to the main point here is that I learned that most of the people I went to school with are dead now. Mostly involving the predictable reasons with that being drugs, alcohol. I saw one old bully from high school at a gas station. He looked like he needed a bath, glazed eyes, and couldn’t finish a sentence until he remembered what he was talking about all the while referencing his time in jail. He was the poster boy of drug use. Many of my former bullies that are still alive are living this way. One of them has a very difficult time staying married while decorating his entire body in tattoos.

The other day I had to go to school for my son. I met up with a woman I was in elementary school with who kept apologizing for all the treatment I went through school. I have to admit that I don’t remember everything that happened to me in school but that’s mostly due to me having to mentally block out a lot of ‘stuff’ I went through.  The bad part of it is that I couldn’t block out the rest of it. But over the past few days I was able to see and hear many events that has happened to so many people I went to school with. Many of my former class mates turned out OK; hard working people with a decent family life.

I will never go to class reunions or hang out with anyone I went to school with. There are a couple of them I see from time to time which is great but with so many other people that treated me like bug crap can know that I didn’t commit suicide, become an alcohol and drug user, go on a mass killings spree of old enemies or live in misery and grief all these years. It’s not that I didn’t care how I was treated or was inspired by one of those ‘love thy fellow man’ speeches taught in church every Sunday. I just didn’t see any of them being involved in my life after graduation.

So I grin and bared it all those years in school, living for the day that I will enjoy a better life than my teenage life. And I have done that. I traveled to different countries as well as across America. I lived a wonderful life and have been blessed with a great family. School only gave me a document to get a job. From their I met a better class of people. 

The Birth of Jesus

This is a look into the birth of Jesus from my viewpoint.

At the time Mary was around 16 years old and serving her faith, she went to stay with her female cousin’s home for a while. Welcomed with opened arms she stays for about six months before returning home at least three months pregnant. The man she had an arrange marriage with, Joseph, find out she was pregnant and broke off their engagement. A death sentence due to the law of stoning any unwed pregnant woman.

It wasn’t until Joseph is said to of had a dream where an angel informed him that the baby would be the savior of all Israel. The next day Joseph told Mary that he would marry her. She was spared the death sentence but was labeled a whore. When the time came for Mary to give birth many things started to take place for and against her. Many prophets and sages (wise men) as well as kings of foreign lands were traveling towards Israel.

The country was controlled by the Roman Empire and not too long ago many Israelites were killed by the Romans for leading a rebellion against the occupation of their homeland. As the local Roman ruler, Herod was becoming even more jealous and angry with reports of a Jewish baby that was to be born and lead all of Israel to a rich and mighty Jewish Kingdom; he gave orders for all male children under the age of two to be killed as well as anyone who got in their way.

As with the custom of the time, high ranking people of importance would go before the leader of the country to pay their respects and/or permission to cross through their country. So as Herod is getting reports of thousands of babies being killed; Kings, wise men and other visitors who were traveling to pay tribute to him knew as well of the massacres and the dangers the messiah was facing.

As these events were unfolding, there was a census taking place. Joseph and a very pregnant Mary were journeying to his home town to be counted. After a long journey there was no place for them to stay for the night. A small town where Joseph grew up, his parents and other family members did not open their doors to Joseph and Mary. Seeing as Mary was labeled as a whore for engaging in sexual relations with Joseph before they were legally married had labeled them both the black sheep of the family.

Going to a hotel or other establishments to rest for the night was even harder. As anyone living in small towns will testify that gossip and hearsay travels very fast. To the point that the only place that would open their doors to a pregnant woman in need of rest was an underground barn the locals use to protect their animals for the night. The reason many animals were kept in cave like structures was to protect them from wild animals that roamed the area at nights. These ‘mangers’ were very small with straw spread over the floor to make it more comfortable for the animal to rest on and to make it more easy to clean up the piss and shit the animals produced during the night.

Mary, going into labor, was going to give birth in a small underground makeshift barn full of animal with all of their smells and waste spread throughout the room. Everything in this room is full of flies, maggots and other forms of insect life with germs, mold and mildew odors engulfing the woman who is to give birth to the Jewish savior. Any woman who has ever given birth will testify the near death state they have gone through and many who were very vocal due to the pain they went through as well. In this time period, there was no medicine or medical support that we have now. No records of people nearby coming to the aid of a screaming woman in agony.

After giving birth, visitors were said to have started to arrive to pay their respects. Many of these people who visited the newborn baby were those considered to be the cream of society. Famous, rich, powerful people who could have taken this family living in filth and waste to a place more proper for the son of God, the Messiah of all Jewish people to live in a more safe and protective environment. But they did not. Instead of protecting the one person they traveled over great distance to see and to proclaim a new day for the Jewish people, they left as quickly as they arrived out of fear of their own safety when faced with Herod’s desire to kill anyone who was seen as a treat to his rule.

The Wise men arrived giving gifts and words of wisdom. Everyone was in a good mood with hope of the coming Jewish Kingdom led by the newborn baby. As these highly educated people returned to their high society lifestyle of living like royalty, they left Joseph and Mary defenseless against Herod’s army. Like famous celebrities who donate a couple of hours on Thanksgiving to help out at a homeless shelter before returning to their mansion. But the Kings finally arrived with their gifts for the newborn baby.

It’s important to remember that in this time period, whenever a king visited another kingdom he always traveled in a caravan. This caravan consisted of the King, his wives, concubines, children, servants, slaves, a small army to protect them as well as animals to carry all their stuff such as camping gear, gifts, treasures as well as foods for themselves and their livestock. This caravan could number hundreds to thousands of people depending on the distance they had to travel. It’s also important to notice the countries that were around at this time. With the Roman Empire controlling the Mediterranean land area, these Kings would have to have come from the Eastern areas which were mainly Muslim territorial areas.

These traveling Kings could have easily taken Joseph, Mary and Jesus within their own family. Taking them out of Herod’s reach and protecting and educating Jesus throughout his whole life. Jesus would have been around influential people who would have followed him. Jesus would have been given a bigger and more powerful audience to bring about the Kingdom he was to have created. Instead these Kings basically said their hello’s, presented the gifts and abandoned this family to Herod’s army. There was no one now who could take Jesus and provide him with an education and for that matter a lifestyle that would have placed him closer to the people who were in power. Leaders who could have ordered all their people to hear the word of God had spoken though Jesus. All the rulers, highly educated people, leaders of modern thought had given praise to the birth of Jesus had disappeared into the night offering no real help or support.

The last ones to pay their respects were the sheppard’s. These people were considered the bottom of society. They were the cowboys of the Old Testament. Many had scars and missing limbs. They had only an old fashion slingshot, a whip with maybe a spear or dagger but mainly they would fight off wild animals with their own hands if they had too in order to protect their flock. They also had to protect their livestock from thieves and other dangers lurking around. If Herod’s army did appear, these sheppard’s would be able to offer some protection until Jesus was safely away.

Joseph, Mary and Jesus had to travel to Egypt to stay until it was safe enough for them to return back to their own home where they spent the rest of their lives living as carpenters. When Jesus began to travel around to speak the word of God, he had only the poorest of people to listen to him. All the types of people who came to his birth did not want to listen to him. In their eyes he was an unmarried poor laborer who looked more like a threat to their rule.

One of the cultural reasons he was looked down upon was simply that by the time men became adults; their parents would arrange their marriage. Jesus was nearing thirty and his parents had not yet arranged his marriage. It was a long held saying even now in the Middle East that a man is not a man until he is married to a woman. To the people around Jesus, he appeared less of a man.

History could have been greatly different if those that were sent to educate and protect Jesus had done so. Instead of being surrounded by highly educated and powerful people who could change the known world, Jesus was left with no support. Not from his family or those who abandon him to die at the cross. He died all alone with no one but thieves and murderers. Being mocked and cursed at by the very people who were foretold of his birth and the kingdom he was to have created for them.

Merry Christmas

Second Home in the Country

Located in Gyeonggi-do province in Korea around the 38 degree latitude along the Cheongpyeong river is a place I use to stay at for a while. I always had many opportunities to witness military equipment and personnel patrolling the area as they defend and protect the border from attacks.

Fullmetal Alchemist 鋼の錬金術師 Chippendale Dancers

My wife recently bought a Chippendale calendar for a friend of ours in Japan. My wife eventually mailed the calendar but not before she stared to draw many of the male characters dressed like Chippendale dancers.

Home Sweet Home

The location of this image is in Naha City, Okinawa.The apartment circled in red is located in Yamashita-cho. Located a couple of minutes from the main airport and walking distance to the famous Tree House restaurant. Of all the many places I have been too around the world, this is by far my favorite place. From the balcony on the 4^th floor apartment I could easily see a baseball game. There use to be a convenient store on the ground floor when I was last there, back in 1999, which was great for I didn’t have to go far to do grocery shopping. The elevator opened right next to the store leaving me to do my major grocery shopping time to within 15 minutes. Perfect during the 7th inning stretch.

Fullmetal Chippendales

This is just one of many pictures my wife is drawing now. Ever sense my wife bought the Chippendale calendar at the mall, she has been drawing many charactures from the manga/anime of Fullmetal Alchemist.

Rebirth over Reincarnation

'Lighty' (born April 20, 2010 - 11:30 PM)

Tuesday morning, 7:25am as the boys were half dressed while watching TV as they drag themselves in pretending to accomplish the task of preparing for the approaching school bus became alarmed, as was I, to a Japanese woman they called mother, running into the house crying as she conversed in an inaudible sense of the Japanese language, looking for a container of sorts for what would be a coffin for a dearly departed member of our family. Born less than eight months ago and has lived his life to his fullest which in part guided his curiosity towards his final moments.

I joined my wife by the road side in retrieving the body of someone who just hours earlier had shared my sons bed. To be more precise, they were his pillow. Every morning as they woke to begin a new day, he was always there to greet them. To welcome them personally as each of their eyes adjusted to the reality of a non-dream with a gentle nudge of a pat on the head or a good rubbing all around his body. Never a disappointment as their relationship was as a married couple still in the honeymoon stage with no signs of ending.

By the time we carried his lifeless body behind the house we were greeted by two very young boys who had, within seconds, matured into young adults braving a simple coffin to face the mark of death that awaits all who dared to test the limits of love that death itself has for us. And as young men they quickly prayed for their bed mate as best they could. Words of famous leaders, poets and even the greatest of religious leaders are nothing more than hot summer’s air compared to the blessed words of love being brought to life by these blessed children who held no fear but poured out only the core of their love to someone who had passed on to the next stage of life.

As the body was lowered into the ground, a gathering of many had been taking place. All around us others who shared our home, even our beds, had came to partake the final viewing of a vessel that contained a heart of gold overflowing with unlimited love for all and was now free to envelope the world over. As the last bit of soil was used to cover the body a prayer was spoken that brought joy for those all around. As we reflected on the passing of a love one, the storms that had been gathering in all of us were subsided and replaced with rays of joy and happiness that this fallen friend had given us all.

Death is neither fear or feared. It is nothing more than the chains of regrets that bind us to a level of life that is far lesser than the one that truly awaits us all. Even the terrorist that threatens life has no chains binding them to this world. They have coupled their chains to a higher belief that is greater than even the reality they reside in. But in connecting those chains to that higher stage of life requires a great deal preparation. A caterpillar doesn’t plan to journey across the tops of flowers without going through a serious development of growth that will lead it to its next stage of life.

Grown from within and emerging from the corpse of its once former self, a greater purity is placed upon the new world that previously was nonexistent to it. All brought about by those preparations of one choice for that faithful day. This short life we live now is preparation for the final level of life. What is learnt here is carried with us to the next. Binding ourselves to that future life we wish to have will focus the reality we chose to live in today.

Sometimes the thorns are worth it

To me there are three ways people acquire great blessings throughout their lives. They go through much hardship and are finally rewarded; it is given from the blessings of others or it is easily given to them only to later pay for it at another time. With me, I went through hardship of my gallbladder surgery in July, 2010 due to complications relating to an almost induced heart attack as well as waking up during surgery. That left me out of work for weeks and using up all my future vacation time. But that hardship would be rewarded better than I could even imagine.

 When I was able to go back to work, I found out that I qualified for short term disability. I had all the forms completed and turned in to the corporate office but never heard anything else from them. Then one Saturday afternoon I’m talking with my supervisor and the topic of my upcoming vacation time was brought up. Questions on if I still had it or not was discussed but he promised to look into it for me. And late Monday morning he called me to deliver surprisingly great news.  

Apparently the paperwork did go through and I was going to be able to use my last vacation week. And that’s not all. My gallbladder adventure took place during my scheduled vacation time in July and as a result, I was getting that vacation back. The only problem was that I have to use it before the end of the year or I would lose it. And seeing as my last vacation begins just before Christmas left me with little options. Luckily I was able to get the week before my upcoming vacation starts which produced a two week, back-to-back vacation. But it comes with a catch.

I have to return to work on December 24^th.  Yes I will have two weeks of non-stop TV and internet odyssey without having to deal with the madness of Christmas shoppers. Women camped out by the meat department talking about that one relative they dread seeing every year while trying to get a cheap turkey as with the family reunions of an assortment of people taking place on the very grocery isle I need to work on. During their conversation they practice the ability to avoid the fact that I’m standing right behind them. But once they realize that I am really enjoying hearing their conversation, they leave.

Although I would say having my wife begging to go shopping every time an advertisement comes in the mail is very tempting in wanting to return to work.  

The Neverending Job

My boys worked for hours raking leaves only to watch the?next day as the whole yard became completely covered again in a sea of leaves.

I made a mistake that costed a friendship twenty years ago. Events in my life led me to contact her again which led to an email I received from from her yesterday. Her response lifted years of regret and pain that I have been carrying. She forgave me. :)

安室奈美恵 / Break It / Get Myself Back

Something strange is happening to me.

With all that has happened to me this week I thought it couldn't get any worse. But as my wife and I had a long heart to heart talk Thursday night really putted me at ease. It seamed to have carried over into the next day which putted me in a great mood while feeling like I could conquer the world. At my age I usually have a few aches and pains but not today. I didn’t even feel any chest pains as a result of my gallbladder surgery mishap. Even though I did a lot of heavy lifting I never got tired or broke a sweat. I could run a marathon or even take my wife shopping at the mall and be ready for more. And it all started around 3:30 AM, Friday morning.

After I updated a blog and worked on a Christmas video I finally went to bed around midnight feeling totally blank. I couldn’t even think a thought or remember anything clearly. I do recall feeling pressure around my head, as if I was wearing a helmet. I got a little concern when I went outside for no reason at all. I didn’t even feel cold. But while I was outside I checked the mailbox containing only junk mail. A bit disappointed it wasn’t real mail I went back inside to finally go to bed.

Everyone else was fast asleep with me starting to feel like I needed another trip to the hospital. But the moment I laid down I was out. I can’t even remember what dreams I had which really strange. I remember all my dreams and can have some control over them from time to time but last night I had no dreams at all. But at 3:30 AM I woke up like I was taking my first breathe of life. I was wide awake, breathing like I just finished a marathon race. I used the bathroom and made a quick sandwich and was back in bed by 4 AM.

Then it got weird. I had the same dream three times with each version being played out differently. Like the movie, ‘Inception’, I was able to more around and totally control all of my actions. The repeating dreams were like the movie ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers’ and the EVO’s from the cartoon show Generator Rex. In each version they attacked me. In two of those dreams I defeated them easily but in the third dream it wasn’t going so good for me. Mainly due to the fact my alarm went off at 4:45 AM before that dream could finish.

And the whole thing carried over into Saturday. That morning I was leaving a store heading to the truck when I was approached by a couple of nuns. Apparently they were stopping to stretch their legs while getting gas for their van. They walked over to me just as I reached the truck and wanted to ask me a few questions. About who I am, do I go to church and the type of faith I have? Apparently, one of those nuns stated that she noticed small light orbs floating all around me for a few seconds as I was leaving the store and was curious as to the type of person I am.

But the rest of the day was a repeat of Friday. I got home by 6:30 PM after working for over 12 hours straight and yet I felt like I could go for another 10 hours without any rest. I don’t do drugs, smoke or on any medication but since it all started early Friday morning my body feels completely different as my mind has been racing with all these thoughts and ideas. One of those I mention to my wife and she’s all for it. We’re going to create a mini comic book or a dojinshi together. She draws the pictures and I add the text.

I can’t wait for tomorrow.

Jean

It feels good to breathe again. The reason I say this is a long time ago I messed up a friendship and after 20+ years the buildup of stupidity finally got the best of me to the point I wrote a letter to her. I was taken aback a bit when after I mailed her the letter, I found her Facebook account. And then the pressure began about a day or so later.

You see I can watch science, history, stuff about Astrophysics and I can understand it as clear as a bell. But figuring out if she is still mad at me really goes over my head. Like the space shuttle in orbit. So I figured I would get my wife to help translate what appeared to be a cryptic message directed towards me on her Facebook account. But before doing that she wanted to know the whole story between me and Jean. So I gave her the complete story minus the secret I blabbed to Jean’s sister to which my wife proceeded to give me the evil eye, made a few comments in Japanese and reluctantly helped me out.

After reading the message and seeing Jean's Facebook picture when she was very young, my wife concluded that I was a jackass. No brainer there. But, my wife understanding my heart, gave me a little advise." Letting go of that anger takes time. It’s like a safety blanket that eventually will be to put away. But for now, sending her that letter is like an olive branch.The best way to deal with it is to back away, internet and all, and to continue living your life. If she forgive's you or not she'll let you know. Leave her alone to work it out but keep praying for her." A deep breathe late and I felt great. Then my wife told me if I had done that to her, she would have shot me.

And she would to.

Women in my Life

With everything that has been happening within the last 24 hours could be like living in the middle of a tear jerker drama movie. My wife, after getting an injection to burn the nerve endings in her lower back yesterday, was finally able to use her legs this morning. The pain is gone but with no feeling in that area of her back she's a little scared to walk.

While doing some housework while she was resting I did a quick internet check and received what some would say the second blow. A letter I wrote to an old friend from a long time ago responded. In shock and awe I became numb as a doorknob. An old picture of her was like the ‘Ghost of Christmas Past’ but the message hit me like the ‘Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come’. A general topic of discussion for all but cutted through me like Perseus removing the head off of Medusa in Clash of the Titans. In a way I knew it was coming but almost impossible to be fully prepare for it.

The major players in my life going through different pains with never enough ‘I’m sorry.’ to end the pain. Dosesn't mean I'm going to stop.

"Instead of regretting what we cannot do, it is better to do what one can. Even for example, what you do has nothing to do with results, you must forge forward."
-Yuuko Ichihara. Volume 9, P.157. (xxxholic manga)

or

(James 5:16)

The Warrior's Way Trailer (2010)

I just saw the commercial and I can't wait to see it. Its similar to another Japanese Western movie called 'Sukiyaki Western Django'

My favorite quote

There are many unusual things in this world. Everyday events occur that cannot be explained. Bizarre phenomena that often go unnoticed because people close their eyes to what they don't understand. But the truth of the matter is, there are many unusual things in this world. And people.... People are the most mysterious of them all.
Yuuko Ichihara (xxxHOLiC)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ty9Ft40wNxg&feature=related

Ultraman movie

My youngest son is begging to go to Japan so he can see this movie.

Following Directions

1) Go to Google Maps

2) Press "Get Directions”

3) Set Point A as Naha, Okinawa and point B as Taiwan

4) Read step 72

Year in Review

Just a few pictures of us through the year. Enjoy.

My Sassy Girl

I just finished watching a Korean movie called 'My Sassy Girl'. It was actually based on a true story which makes it even more enjoyable. Especially with the happy tear jerker ending.

GACKT YFC LIVE DVD - Justified

SyFy Remakes?

The Sy Fi channel has been somewhat OK at remaking older TV shows and movies. Dune and Battlestar Galactica have been great but a few other remakes have been ugly to say the least. So here is my top 10 list of old shows that the SyFy channel should consider remaking into TV shows or movies.

1.      The Phoenix

2.      Logan’s Run

3.      ALF

4.      Buck Rogers

5.      Quantum Leap

6.      MacGyver

7.       Tales of the Gold Monkey

8.      Airwolf

9.      Greatest American Hero

10.  Space: 1999 

Top 10 TV Shows

It might not be much of a Top Ten list but this is the top ten shows I always make a point to watch whenever I do watch TV.

1. NCIS

2. Doctor Who

3. Top Gear

4. Generator Rex

5. Modern Marvels

6. The Smoking Gun Presents: World's Dumbest

7. Futurama

8. Eureka

9. Ben 10 Ultimate Alien

10. How It’s Made / How Do They Do It?

Zero Point (part 2)

In regards to my resent post about my very first friend I ever had led me to a lot of soul searching and basically going to zero point. Its a little exercise I do whenever I feel like I’m stressing out. Basically I just mentally remove every little thing about me and everything around me until I get to the core of who I am. Then, just like building a Lego set, I put everything back into the order it needs to be in. Or another way is I just defragment my head until everything is back in its place.

The bottom line is that a huge barrier I am going through in dealing with my first friend is nearly over. It took a while and a lot of listening to the CD ‘Are You Fried Chickenz’ by Gackt . Hey I relax better listening to Rock music. Soft relaxing music puts me to sleep leaving me no time to think things through to whereas Gackt’s music keeps me awake and thinking clearly. But after several hours I came to an obvious conclusion.

I had a dear friend who never really knew that she was my first true friend. We had a great time together that ended when I got stupid and ruined it. I put hate into her and caused her to make major changes in her life. I ran away trying to forget everything but ended up burying all this unresolved pressures. She’s happily married for over 16 years now to where as I’ve been married for 15 years. She’s OK; the stress is of my own doing. And as the final conclusion presented itself was like cold water splashed in my face. ‘Just get over it.’

I love the life I have now and don’t plan on damaging it. The life I live is of my own making. No matter what life throws at me it is how I respond to it that made me; well me. A long time ago I ran away from taking responsibility of my actions and allowed a small ticking time bomb to slowly grow as it waited for an opportune time to explode and to force me to make stupid decisions. But instead I had grown up.  To be a mature person taking responsibility is tough when the kid inside wants to hide but no matter what tests might be thrown at me, it is not that important to destroy the life I have created with the family I have been blessed.

In all; I wish Jeanette the best for her. If she still holds a grudge against me then so be it for I deserved it. But I do not plan on going to her home and drag her through a mind field of pass memories and regret just to win her forgiveness. Nor do I plan to wallow in misery and sorrow and stalk her like some crazed psychopath. Like ships that sail through the night, in this case one’s life, she may have forgotten all about me. I’m willing to live with that. 

The past is doomed to repeat itself (part 1)

The past is doomed to repeat itself. I learned that a few days ago and I still feel like I’m stuck in the afterthought of a lost and forgotten time. Mind you I never forgotten them but kept them nice and safe so as to relieve the current stress of life with a joy of the past. I had to work in Louisburg, NC over the weekend where I met an old friend I use to work with at Winn Dixie back in the late 1980’s. We talked a great deal of all the people we worked with. About where they are now and how they got there. We caught up on each other’s lives and joked around like the past was the present.

Afterwards I felt all weird inside as many of those thoughts flooded back to the point that I felt like I was drowning to the deepest part of the ocean. And the only image I had was a young woman who is two years younger than me. Her name is Jeanette and she was the first woman I fell head over heels for. Her dimple smile, her tomboyish attitude loaded with a good dose of femininity. I could go on but truth to be told; she was the first girl I ever had a crush on. All through my school life I was never really attracted to any of the girls in my school. I did have a crush on Brooke Shields and Irene Cara but in my real life Jeanette was the first girl I really liked.

To be honest, I was 21, still a virgin and proud of it. Seeing that most of the people around me were making a lot of mistakes in relation to drugs, alcohol and sex I was glad in being me. After all the majority of my graduation class found themselves dead while a great deal others became parents before their 20’s while a few others stayed in their alcoholic/drug world. Many of us did go on to better things in life. Many others in my senior graduation class at school stayed the straight and narrow as other strayed from the path so to speak. I got through it by staying at the bottom of the social ladder. I’ll write more about that later on. But I survived it.

Jeanette and I over time started to spend time together. Depending on our work schedule it was mainly lunch or dinner. We talked and got to know each other more and more and a friendship was there. But it was only to be just that. She had a thing about dating people she worked with but if it meant that our friendship couldn’t go any further was OK so long as we were at least friends. Plus I didn’t know any dating techniques or try anything romantic on her but she did know I liked her a lot. I got a chance to spend time at her home meeting her sister and her son as well as the parents. Life was going great until I made a costly mistake.

One evening her sister and I were driving to Zebulon and as our conversation progressed I let slip a secret about Jeanette. The moment I said it I felt really sick inside me to the point I actually started having a cold sweat. The rest of the evening went OK but I felt dead. And sure enough the next day Jeanette let me have it. I didn’t get angry or defensive. I just kept quiet and as she spoke. From then on she hated me with every fiber of her being. She never smiled while I was near and seeing as we worked at the same store she eventually transferred to another store. Everyone kept asking what happened but I never told them. Never spoke about her again and tried to move on with my life.

Eventually I transferred to another store and eventually I did find a girlfriend but that didn’t last long. She was still in love with an old boyfriend that abused her. The next girlfriend was mental. Literally, the woman love to play mind games and kept testing and attacking me on trivial matters. Nothing like keeping a constant memory of Jeanette in my thoughts as I was going into train wreak relations one after the other. It got to the point that I left the state all together and moved far away. Even visiting other countries and just forgetting everything about myself and where I came from. It worked. All my past memories were locked away. They just became reference thoughts without the connections. But that personnel victory was soon to come to an end.

I was matched up with a Okinawan woman and our relationship was moving along pretty good. As we talked and got to know each other we found out that we had a great deal in common. She was perfect for me in ways I didn’t think of. She actually got me to improve myself without pushing or nagging. The real joy came when she became pregnant but that led to many unforeseen problems. My wife was having major back problems and she went through a depression after our son was born. Her mother came and stayed with us for a month to help her through this period but we had to make a decision. One I didn’t like to make.

My wife was having a difficult time while pregnant and handling being a mother. Her family lives in Okinawa and mine lives in North Carolina. A coin toss after days of figuring many options to solve our problems ended with the three of us leaving a lot of our stuff behind as we left California in a rented cargo van heading for North Carolina where my family would help her get through her physical and mental ordeal. I didn’t want to come back but I did it anyway for her and our son.

Eventually a got a job which led to a much better job which led me to Louisburg in a chance meeting with an old friend I long forgot about that opened up a floodgate of memories I tried so hard to forget. In all, I am coming to the end of my struggles and soon my self made crisis will be partly over due to another idiotic thing I did. I went and googled her name and within a few minutes I found her myspace account and sent an email. Can I make an ass of myself or what? But no reply and from the looks of her myspace account she hasn’t been there in a very long time. In time maybe she’ll find it and wonder who I am or she will be filled with rage and hate all over again. But never the less, she was my first true friend I ever had in my whole life. I can’t change the past but at least I can work on not messing up my future like I did to Jeanette.