A public school teacher was arrested today at John F.
Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes
the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI
with carrying weapons of math instruction.
'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said.
'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents
in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X"
and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have
determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval
with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to
say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said,
"If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would
have given us more fingers and toes."
No comments:
Post a Comment