THE DEATH BLOG

Noodol Cafe isn't your typical ramen joint. You could buy the noodles at any old supermarket. You could even make them at home, within minutes. What makes Noodol Cafe stand out is its gimmick. But what may kill it is a Japanese celebrity. With a Death Blog.

Online in Japan, the Death Blog is notorious. It's not actually called the "Death Blog" or "DEATH BLOG", but "Aki Higashihara's Official Blog". Her ability to seemingly "kill" things off, such as the Nintendo Wii, are so famous that upon spotting her name on the Noodol Cafe site, a Japanese forum user wrote, "Aki Higashihara, oh shit."

Opening Jan. 23, the cafe is the work of Platinum Production, a talent agency. On the Noodol Cafe site, it lists some of the celebrities it manages like idol group flight attendant inspired idol group Passpo, former spacey Sega pitch girl Yuko Ogura, and Aki Higashihara. If the Japanese internet is to be believed, just writing her name on this shop's site, is putting Higashihara's mark on it. This cafe is doomed.

The cafe's gimmick, and boy is it a gimmick, is that well-known Japanese idols pour hot water onto your instant ramen. Here's how it works: You go to Noodol Cafe in Akihabara; you select the idol; you go to a get a cup of vending machine ramen and a drink; you go to the counter, where the idol pours hot water on your ramen.

All this for ¥800 (US$10). If you've ever bought cup ramen and a soft drink in Japan, you'll know how overpriced this is—usually both don't cost over a few bucks. "Holy crap this is pricey," said one Japanese commenter.

It is pricey. It is gimmicky. Both of which might, overtime, drive customers away once the shop's initial sheen wears off. But it might be something else. It might be Higashihara. In Japan, Higashihara's blog is referred to as the "DEATH BLOG" after popular manga "Death Note". If she blogs about something, that means it's dead. D.O.A.

Here's her success rate (via 某たむらの奇妙な冒険記, Kotaku and nejinoki):

·         Higashihara works as a campaign girl for the Dreamcast, and then the console is defeated by the PlayStation 2.

·         Higashihara finally purchased a Nintendo Wii in Nov. 2010. The following E3, the Wii U was formally revealed, thus effectively killing off the Wii.

·         She used to be a campaign girl for the money lending firm DIC --> DIC goes out of business.

·         Dates the Judo athlete Inoue Kosei who was virtually unparalleled in the world at the time, who then suddenly becomes fifth place in the Summer Olympics of 2004.

·         Attends the Kano Cup Judo World Grand Prix for the first time in Jan 2005, where Inoue Kosei tears his left pectoral muscle.

·         2007/9/23, selects the most favored horse as the one she will bet on in the Kobe Newspaper Cup (horse racing). The record of 100% of most-favored horses winning for the past 10 years is blown away as the horse finishes in 12th place.

·         Every horse she selects in horse races, even horses heavily favored to win, always lost. Her record stands at 38 consecutive losses. Many jockeys come forward and ask her to not select them as her favorite.• In May 2007, she picked her three favorite horses to win — all three break bones.

·         Two months later, a jockey, Take Koushirou, tells her to select any horse but his. In her pre-blog days, Higashihara replies that she'll repeatedly write his name in her notebook — then referred to as the "Death Note". Two months later, the jockey falls off his horse and ends up with a broken rib and punctured lung.

·         Higashihara jokes that she'll write the names of all horses in her notebook, except her favorite horse "Vodka". There is an outbreak of equine flu later that year at the Japan Racing Association stables, resulting in all races for that year to be cancel. Vodka doesn't fall ill to the flu, but develops swollen ankles and cannot race.

·         In 2007, she begins appearing on horse racing show Super Keiba. The show, in its 20th year on air, is cancelled three months later.

·         In 2008, Announces she will hold a wedding with Inoue Kosei at the Imperial Hotel in October --> A fire occurs at the Imperial Hotel.

·         After marrying Higashihara, Inoue not only loses the judo championships but doesn't even make the Olympic team. Regardless, she attends the Summer Olympics, and the Japanese team posts its worse performance ever.

·         Every contestant in the K-1 Kick boxing Grand Prix she has rooted for has been defeated.

·         2008/8/21 Higashihara returns to Japan --> The Japanese Women's Softball team defeats the United States for their first gold medal.

·         2008/8 The Japanese judo team at the Summer Olympics suffers their worst year ever. Higashihara was in attendance.

·         2008/8/15 A rival of Inoue who prevented him from going to the Olympics and is hated by Higashihara wins the gold medal.

·         Every K-1 kick boxing fighter she has cheered for has lost.

·         In early 2008, Higashihara appears at a McDonalds. Parasites are found in the burgers the next day.

·         2008/9 The “making-of” of a commercial for Myojo ramens starring Higashihara is opened to reporters. --> Parasites are found from Myojo instant yakisobas. Then traces of insecticides are found from ramen manufactured in a particular factory.

·         January 16 blog entry in which she wrote about a centuries old ginko tree. Two months later, the tree suddenly topples over.

·         2008/2/28, appeared in a promotional event for McDonald's --> The brown worm-like parasite Anisakis,Terranova is found from Fillet-O-Fish patties the following day.

·         2008/3/7 Mentions the snack Umai-bo on her blog --> the Umai-bo factory burns down.

·         2008/6/15 Attends a promotional event for a brand of milk at Aqua City Odaiba --> A fire at Aqua City Odaiba.

·         Becomes a campaign girl for Asahi Beer --> Asahi Beer loses its lead in the beer market.

·         Goes on vacation to South Korea --> The Korean Won plummets.

·         Sends a message of encouragement to fellow celebrity blogger Ogura Yuuko --> A fire erupts at one of the Yakiniku stores owned by Ogura.

·         Puts photos of a pizza she ate at the family restaurant chain Saizeriya on her blog --> A scandal where trace amounts of the poison melamin is found in Saizeriya pizzas occurs.

·         Writes comments of endorsement for a book. --> Publisher files for bankruptcy.